Mr. R. Gay! I haven't a doubt that it's an R. and it's
meant for Mr. Rashleigh. Besides it's from a lady; The
shape, the perfume
Noah, has Mr. Rashleigh come in!
When do you expect him!
I don't expect him sir; I would not dare take the liberty of expecting him sir. I know my place sir.
Hullo Wilder old man you hero. I was over at your house looking for you.
Is anything required of me!
Yes; get out!
Now Rash. You know the masquerade ball tonight; well
I know I'm going to be there.
Yes; but the girls are going. Flirt is up in Tony's room now; the scheme's all fixed.
They going! Why how! I can get out, but Uncle Ben'll
never let Tony out
To the ball! No! But we're not supposed to be going there. We have got permission to go on a night tour of Chinatown. That will account for our being out late; well, instead of going to Chinatown, we all meet at the Riche, have a jolly supper; our masks will be sent there we'll put them on and go to the ball. Being en masque nobody'll know us and when we get home the old folks will never suspect we haven't been to Chinatown. See!
That's all very well; if it works. How did Flirt get your father to consent to her going to Chinatown!
Oh he consented when Mrs. Guyer said she'd go as Chaperone. Didn't you get a note from her telling you all about it!
No; did she send me one!
Yes; sent it by messenger from our house.
I never got it, very strange!
Now does it all go!
Why yes; if Uncle Ben will consent to Tony's going through Chinatown.
Leave the girls to coax him.
But say; if the widow's going along, we'll need a third fellow to balance the party. You bet she doesn't go without a fellow all to herself.
The widow! Well hardly! She's the one who got up this
whole scheme my boy! The trip to Chinatown story and
all; and you bet she's taken care the party isn't short
on men. She's got Towne Painter to go as Flirt's escort
Well that suits me! The widow's more fun than any girl I know. Say Wilder I don't believe a woman is ever at her best till she becomes a widow.
The boys all seem to think she's in her prime anyway. That's a great song Billy Barker wrote and dedicated to her.
It's the girls and your Uncle.
I don't care if night trips to Chinatown are the fashion I say no!
But Uncle I've lived here in San Francisco all my life and have never been through the China quarter and this is such a good chance; we'll have a whole party together and of course a policeman. And we'll ask Mrs. Guyer to Chaperone us.
I don't see that she'd make any difference.
Why she's a widow.
Yes and is always sniveling about it. Why doesn't she get married again? I suppose because no man's fool enough to yield to her blendishments. I know I wouldn't.
But if she goes-
She goes alone! I won't have you out all night chasing through Chinatown. That settles it.
Come, Wilder!
Now I'm an informal old beast, I suppose. Well I can't help it! They're my sister's children and I'll do my duty as their guardian if I earn their everlasting hatred.
Letter left here for you sir by messenger boy.
Yes, sir. Anything I can do for you sir!
Yes. Go away.
Looks like a woman's letter. What woman would write to me?
"My
dear old boy"
Well I'll be ----- Well that letter's plain enough. These widows know what they want and are not afraid to declare themselves. But this to me- Why I know she's been running to the house to see Tony but I never suspected it was me she was after! Da-n bright woman that widow! I'll not disappoint her. But how can I stay out all night without the family knowing it? Change my mind. Let 'em go to Chinatown. By jove how lucky it comes.
There's that cursed street band; playing dance music too. That's suggestive. I hope I haven't forgotten how to shake my feet.
Why Uncle Ben!
I was only thinking! I've turned matters over in my mind.
I should think you must have with such violent exercise.
I've decided to let you go to Chinatown. It's highly proper that you should see it and see it thoroughly. Promise me you will go. Go early and stay late.
We will!
Well!
There's a change of mind for you. I wonder what did it!
I don't know nor care. We go to the ball; that's the point!
And for it all you can thank me.
Our Chaperone!
That will do young ladies! Rashleigh why did you not answer my note!
Because I didn't get it.
Didn't get it! How stupid of you!
Oh I know what it said. And it's all right. So you can dispense with those black looks.
Not for 29 days. You must remember I'm a widow.
Still mourning for poor Jack.
Bitterly! I shall wear a black mask at the Ball. Wilder don't forget that in ordering the masks.
Note for you, sir.
Yes! Go and hide yourself!
It's a note from Painter!
"Dear Rash: May be a little late, but will join you at the Riche. Will inquire for Mr. Gay's room. Wait for me! Yours Towne Painter" That settles it! Our party of six is complete! Of course we'll wait for him. You wouldn't care to go with the party one man short.
Care to! I just wouldn't!
Now Tony- Why Mrs. Guyer, good morning. How do you do.
Uncle she's going to Chaperone us!
Is she! That's nice! But if she changes her mind.
You can go just the same.
She's throwing 'em off. Fly women! I must speak to her.
Tony, I want you four young people to get 'round the d--- piano and sing me my favorite quartette
Anything to oblige.
Mrs. Guyer sit down
Most surely! Why!
Oh I shouldn't let the young folks go out only for that.
You flatter me!
We can't find the quartette, but here's a quintette. Come Mrs. G help us out
Does that satisfy your craving for music!
Entirely! I don't care if I never hear you sing again!
That's nice! Now I must run home and get rested for night. Good bye all.
I hope so!
You and I are all right, but no Flirt.
Certainly not.
Young ladies there's a woman whose example you ought follow.
You don't know how hard we try to, sir.
Telegram sir!
Yes; leave the room!
Who is he? A nice young fellow or an old codger like--- oh lots of folks.
He is a dying man: an old and deep boyhood friend of
mine upon whom death has fixed its clutch. He comes
here as my guest in the hope that our glorious climate
Did you ring!
Ring! I next thing to turned in a fire alarm. Get a glass of wine ready on this table. Bring fans and smelling salts. Have a man help you bring him from the carriage-
He'll probably faint after his long journey. Now is everything ready?
Ah, there!
What Welland Strong!
Yes! Welland Strong!
Why how do you do!
I may die before night!
Sit down! Here Noah! Take the gentleman's wraps! Have glass of wine!
I will! Wine is harmful to me. It shortens my life. But I'll take it.
You don't look badly old man!
No! That is one of the exasperating things about it.
Which lung is affected sir!
Neither. But the left one probably will be by
Do you cough much!
Not at all! That's a very serious feature. My malady is so deep seated that I can't bring the cough to the surface. But instead I felt a sensation which in a well man would be called a thirst for liquor.
And what do the doctors say!
>No two agree.
And who shall decide when doctors disagree!
Usually the Coroner. Why I had seven of them. One fool said that nothing ailed me. Do you know the only man who really understood my case was a horse doctor. He said if I stayed in Seaton I'd die in sixty days. Out here I'd live two years if I obeyed certain rules. Here's the book of rules and it tells just how much I shorten my life each time I break one. That glass of wine shortened it 10 hours.
Shall I take the gentleman's game to his room, sir!
He may as well.
Anything else I can do!
Yes; keep out!
By the way. Can you give me the address of a good horse doctor!
Why yes. But hadn't you better see our family physician!
Oh no; he's no good! None of these M. D's are! They're
Well well! I'll see you have one. I know a man who cured my males of colic.
That's the man I want. He'll keep me along, if any one can.
What feature of our climate do you rely on to help you!
The earthquakes!
Earthquakes!
Yes. They're very invigorating!
Have you ever seen an earthquake.
I was chased three miles by one once.
Now old man you've got two or three years anyhow and we'll try to make you comfortable. After dinner we'll sit down and talk over old times.
I forgot! I've got to be out tonight. What'll I do with him?
We'll have the house all to ourselves for the young people are going to see Chinatown by night. You'd enjoy it if you were only able to go with them.
But he isn't Uncle. It's a very fatiguing trip.
I don't know! I have sworn to see Chinatown; and fading daily as I am, I shall never again be so able as tonight. It will of course shorten my life, but I'll go if the young people will take me!
Why of course. Just delighted to have you go. Aren't you?
Oh yes!
Then I'll sacrifice
Your cat's got at our cat sir. You'd better come sir!
D.
'M----M
'M-----m
This is a nice fix!
We're dished on going to the ball and we've got to put in a night toting that old fool all over Chinatown.
It's bad enough to lose the ball.
But toting him 'round is such a cheerless task!
What's to be done!
Ask the widow.
What? How to get out of this new scrape.
You know---
Just met your Uncle in the hall; he told me this Mr. Strong would go with us to Chinatown so I need have no compuctions about not going. And then he winked most mysteriously.
Uncle winked at you! I can't understand what he meant.
Neither can I; and I'm a widow.
But this dying creature that's tricked upon me! What are we to do with him!
Take him along.
To Chinatown!
No. To the ball.
But if we tell him where we're going he will go straight to Uncle with the story.
But don't tell him where. He's going; just take him along.
But when he comes home he'll tell on us.
Then he'll have to tell on himself too! I don't know this Mr. Strong, but if he isn't as deep in this scrape as we are, before we get home then-- May I always remain a widow.
But he'll make a four men to three ladies. Some girl will have to manage two beaux.
I think somebody will prove equal to that emergency!
On the whole I'm rather glad he's going. We'll have a lot of fun with him.
He's got an exciting evening in store for him.
The excitement of that cat fight has taken a week off my life.
Here he is. Oh Mr. Strong, I want to introduce you to our charming young widow Mrs. Guyer.
Those affiliations usually go together.
How pathetic! In the flower of youth to be bereft of sweet companionship. To be doomed henceforth forever to tread life's pathway inaided and alone.
Ye-yes. But say! There's no law against her marrying again.
Well, if I left a widow-----
You'd be just pig enough to want her to stay one. That's a man. He thinks it a slur on him for his widow to marry. Nothing of the sort. It's a compliment. Shows he made married life so happy that she wants more of it.
When I marry I think I shall marry a widow.
Oh Rashleigh! Why!
I'm too lazy to do any of the courting myself.
We will change the subject. Mr. Strong is your visit to San Francisco for pleasure!
I came here to die.
To die!
Yes! It's a sure thing. The remedy I am taking for my
lung trouble contains dynamite. If the disease conquers
the remedy. I die of the disease; if the remedy conquers
the disease I shall be so full of dynamite eventually
that I'll go off bang!
Great Heavens! She's fainted! Send for a horse doctor!
Mr. Rashleigh Gay's party of six. Well that means up all night for me and plenty of wine on ice; but it also means $5. for a tip. Mr. Gay may sometimes forget some of the commandments but he always remembers the waiter. He'll go to heaven.
Here they are.
Right this way, Mr. Gay. This is your room.
Number 10; with a piano I'm glad we've got that!
But what's that orchestra!
They have one play every night in this restaurant from 8 to 12.
The ladies dressing room is there
Let's go and get dressed at once, while they're getting supper so we'll lose no time. Come on Tony.
Oh some Pommery.
Mr. Painter's not here yet!
No, sir.
We'll have to wait for him, he's got our tickets to the ball.
Couldn't we buy others?
No; none are sold at the door. So we've got to wait for him. We'll go ahead with supper, tho' Sa- Say! Where's our dying companion! Strong!
Here I am!
What's happened!
The hackman said $5. I said $2.
What did you agree upon!
Five. Tell me! Do we stop here long!
Our friend Mr. Painter who is to meet us here hasn't arrived and he has the tickets s----
Tickets! For Chinatown!
Ye-yes; of course!
Oh you're not let into Chinatown without tickers.
Yes sir. Fifty cents please.
Supper!
Well you can sit and see us eat.
You're very kind. But I'll not impose upon your courtesy. Lend me a pencil till I put down
"Late supper ten days off." What's ten days life to me! Here waiter, my coat and hat.
Now Rash we must be getting dressed. But say; We haven't
That's so, Mr. Strong, what would you like? Won't you give us the order!
I fear the taste of a dying man may not exactly suit your fancies.
I don't know. I never tasted one. But you go ahead and order the supper.
The wines we get out here are harmless.
I don't quite understand all this!
Yes, sir!
If the medicine got mixed they would explode.
Why didn't you say so before.
Waiter. I will order the supper. Give us etc.
And waiter could you give me a glass of Whale's milk.
Whale's milk!
Yes; my doctor recommends it.
Well you tell him to go milk a whale and get you some. It ain't on our bill of fare.
Too bad. Say Waiter. Will you do me a favor. There's a porus plaster between my shoulders that's driving me crazy. Will you kindly reach down my back and pull it off.
Certainly sir.
Take it slow there's not a bit of hurry.
I know sir. A hair's breadth at a time. I won't hurt you sir.
Easy! Easy!
He took skin and all.
I'll swear I heard a bell ring. Didn't you?
No sir! I wasn't listening for bells.
Here's your plaster sir!
I don't want it. I never save these things as souveniers. You throw it out!
Excuse me! I've got to get supper
Waiter! Waiter!
Has a lady been here inquiring for Mr. Gay!
No, sir!
Just in time. Show me to a private supper room for two.
Certainly sir! This way.
It seems I am to go to the ball in the guise of a man. I was forced to it. A man among the women! Well that's what I always wanted to be! What sort of a fellow shall I be to catch the girls? The very English young man: Good morning dear boy: awfully pleased, awfuly! Beastly weather this- in London you know- come 'round to the Club old Cappie, have a brandy and soda, we've new windows in our Club now. Special glass, magnificent fog effect. Brightest day make you feel right at home in London, dear boy." And there's the young freshman in College: We boys ha ha ha, have lots of ha ha, fun. We've had a cow in the ha ha president's chair twice and haha! We've had a can-rush ha ha ha and three men had cones broken and it was lots of fun and ha ha ha let's waltz- What, engaged for the next and all the rest and here comes Mr. Winner. Yes he's a senior and I'll have to excuse you! Oh! Or I might be one of those dear delightful toughs: Soy dere sia come and do a turn. What's dat. Engage! be blowed. If he says a word I'll throw him out see? But I guess I'll do best as just the average young man right up to date.
This will do. When the lady calls show her right in. And say, You'd better have supper all ready. I shan't have to wait long for her.
Yes sir! Champagne and what else sir!
The best of everything. A corking supper my boy. Nothing too good.
Yes sir. Like to look at the evening paper sir!
No. No paper for me!
I'll just sit and think of what a lucky dog I am. I wonder how Strong's enjoying Chinatown.
I think you are very unkind girls to make any such remarks,
you know I won't be out of mourning for 29 days
Here comes Mr. Strong! I- I- Where's my mask!
Now to win him over to our frolic. I wonder if he's got a mash.
May I come in!
Certainly. Mr. Strong I want to ask you a question. Are you stuck!
Not now!
But you have been!
That waiter told her!
And you may be again someday.
Not if I know it!
Will these do?
Bless my soul! What does all this mean!
Girls, we may as well throw aside all attempt at concealment.
But my dear---
Swear as an honest man that you will do this.
But I don't think your Uncle would deceive me
I wonder what Strong would say if he knew I was here.
Swear it!
I do!
Ah! I knew he was a thoroughbred!
Say! Come to think of it, it's a mighty good joke on the old fellow.
One moment.
This means two weeks more off of my life. But let her rip.
Are you dressed at last!
We are! Now for the supper and then we're ready to start.
Mr. Strong perhaps we ought to explain.
It might be as well, but if you've got a really good lie fixed up for me I don't mind hearing it.
He knows and he's with us.
He is! Good boy!
We'll show you Frisco
Sure, sir! Supper's ready to serve when you want it.
I don't want it till she gets here. She can't be long now.
Patience is a great thing in these cases sir. Don't you want the evening paper, sir!
No, no! I didn't come here to read the evening paper. Bring me a cocktail
Say, let's not wait supper for Mr. Painter, I'm starved.
Waiter you can bring the supper.
There's the orchestra. Say we're losing time! What's the matter with dining right here.
That's so! Come on! Mr. Strong you'll dance.
If you can hear the spectacle of a man with one foot in the grave trying to be merry with the other I'll do my best.
There goes that lung!
Why no! The waiter dropped a tray of dishes!
I thought that lung had busted sure. It's likely to at any minute.
Some pack of hoodlums in that next room! By jove this is getting monotonous.
You didn't say what kind of a cocktail, so I brought 4.
You know your business.
I can take three of them back.
Over my dead body.
Hadn't you better look at the evening paper, sir!
No, sir! I had not!
Will you look at that!
Excuse me! I'd rather not see it!
I don't know why men go so crazy over widows! It's enough to drive one--
To marrying some man and then poisoning him. This man Strong's only going to live two years. I've a mind to make love to him. With what I'd keep him out nights I think I could shorten his existence to six months.
She's doing her duty as chaperone. Taking care we don't get familiar with the gentlemen.
Yes; and taking great satisfaction in it. I can see she's laughing at me!
I vow I'll break it up.
Mrs. Guyer, how long did Mr. Guyer last after you were married!
Only six months.
I- I heard he died from the effects of blowing up!
Yes; excursion boat. Dear boy! He was insured for fifty thousand dollars.
I can't.
Then ask me to.
Beautiful! So touching! How much we miss in this life
by not daring to speak out. I went thirty two days in a
prohibition town because I didn't dare to ask the landlord
for a drink.
Oh give it to us.
Ahem! Have you heard the latest scandal?
What is it!
What have you been doing!
That remark was contemptible! Now you shan't hear the story!
It
isn't long! And I really am not trying to monopolize
the gentlemen entirely. I shall presently insist as a
There they are again! I vow I'll be a widow within a year.
I know what it is it's the dress.
Did you see that gesture! I'll bet I know what she said
a widow'll say anything. Come Flirt!
I'll bet I know what they're up to.
Pray excuse me.
Fill 'em up again all 'roung.
Keep it!
Gentlemen you ought not to tempt me like this.
That last one was seven I think.
A week gone. I've wasted five weeks of my life tonight and I come here for my health.
What's those!
Cocktails! The gentleman in the next room ordered them.
That man's bent on my murder.
I wonder what's become of my cocktails.
Tell the gentleman we're very much obliged.
Yes sir. A note sir.
It's from Painter! Unavoidably detained. See you very soon.
Where's my cokctails!
Gentlemen in the next room drank them sir, and sent in their compliments.
They did! Well I like their nerve! You go back quick and get me four more. Stop! Make it eight! And say! Are you quite sure that lady hasn't got here!
Sure sir! Only ladies here are with party next room. I rather think sir-
Think what!
You're shook!
Shook!
Hadn't you better eat your supper alone, sir!
No sir! She'll be here sir! You get those cocktails!
The evening paper.
D'n the evening paper!
Mr Strong this isn't the first time you've been out for a pleasant evening, I see by the way you handle that bottle.
When I was on earth I was not obtuse to the redeeming features of wine, women and song.
Well, be a boy again. We have the wine and the women, give us the song.
If you care to listen to a voice from the grave, I'll let me see- give you a little story of the course of true love
I'm having a devil of a good time. This is what you get for trusting a widow.
Cocktails sir! Shall I put them down?
No, I'll do that.
The evening paper.
What about that supper sir!
I'll eat it. Bring it up.
No sir.
How can we have a little attention?
The widow is white! Have the 29 days gone by so soon!
Supper is served.
Come on! Let's get it over before you boys get to making love to each other's girls and the quarrels begin.
I can't put it together. I'll all mixed up with the market reports.
"The infuriated husband revolver in hand rushed madly after a drove of prime western hogs just arrived." Oh, rats!
By jove I'm drunk!
Drunker'n a boiled owl. That's a good one! I'll just keep it up and get paralyzed. I'll have some fun out of this racket yet.
Please pass the salt.
With all my heart.
Just the salt, please.
Drink hearty!
Anybody have some cold meat? Mutton or beef.
Which is the best!
Permit me, sir!
Anything else you want sir!
Everything on earth.
If there's anything you have not got, I want it.
I can give you anything from a train of cars to a dog fight.
Give us a dog fight.
Ladies and gentlemen
He's going to make an after dinner speech stop him!
Head him off!
Come on!
Was that the lady you were waiting for.
Yes; well!
Why we thought it was your wife. We said you were not here.
Well!
And she went away.
I regret it sir.
Regret it! Regret it! I'd kill you where you stand only I don't want to become known as a fool killer! But I'll make it cost you your job. I'll give you a character at the office.
No, thanks! I can't curl my corns.
What is it sir!
I want to see somebody in authority.
Gaze right on me!
Yes! You're in authority. Well I want to tell you that the waiter I've had is a blear-eyed trump a bandy-legged idiot and a foul hedge hog!
I'll make a note of it. Anything else sir!
Yes. Your place is a dive and I'll never set foot in it again.
Hadn't you better settle your bill first.
I forgot. How much is it!
One hundred dollars.
One hundred dollars. What for!
Well there's $65. For the supper.
But I haven't had supper.
But you ordered it.
All right! I deserve it! I- I-
Why I've- I've lost my pocketbook. I'll send you the money tomorrow.
We don't do business that way.
But I'm prefectly goog.
What name!
Excuse me! But you shall have your money.
I mean to- before you go.
But my boy--
Send home for it.
Send for money to pay for a racket here. Impossible! Now my dear boy--
No! I'm a blear-eyed tramp and I get that money or you go to jail! See!
Do I get it or do I ring for the Police!
My very dear boy-- I'm a respectable citizen! Don't arrest me! The story'll be all over town.
Yes; but you won't be all over to hear it. You'll be in jail.
You hyena, I want
Here! I want you!
Here! Come back now!
What's the matter!! etc.
Now I've got you!
I'm a dying man! Mercy!
Mercy! Not a damned bit! Lend me $100.-
I think we're the first ones up. And I had a good mind not to get up at all.
This settles the "out for a racket" business for me. Flirt do you realize that we're in an awful scrape? Of course Uncle can't do anything worse to you then tell your father--
That's so. He couldn't do anything worse. I'd rather he'd whip me. I guess it does settle the "out for a racket" business. Oh Tony isn't there any way to keep him from telling? I'd get killed!
I don't know of any. We'll all have to suffer except the widow. And she's the only one who had any fun. The way the men devoted themselves to her ruined my evening. Flirt, I've made up my mind! I'm going to be a widow.
Oh Tony! But you've got to be a wife first and your husband may live forever.
No, he won't! I shall marry Mr. Strong. Heaven has sent him here, I feel, to my relief.
Oh Wilder, did you send word home that we are here!
I did. And say! It's lucky we didn't go to the ball. It was closed by the police.
And Painter was arrested: that's why he didn't come to the Riche.
Good morning, everybody!
Good morning.
To what are we indebted for this early call!
I've come over, first to have a litle practice with the foils.
Second to get you get out of your scrape.
Oh can you!
Well, you know me; what do you think!
We'll bet on you every time!
Last night after I reached home I began to think that you were in a fix. "They've got to tell some story to get you out of it" said I "and they're not good at telling stories said I!" "They may lay the blame on me said I"! Then my reputation will be in the laundry. And a widow has to be so careful of her reputation I must go over there and tell a story that'll get us all out of it" said I. And here I am.
One word for us and two for yourself. You're very good.
Now am I in time!
I think so neither Uncle or Mr. Strong are up yet.
That Strong's a thoroughbred after all!
A delightful man. It's a pity he's got to die so soon-
Nothing of the sort-- I-- I mean- perhaps he hasn't--
Well I say! What story are we to tell Uncle?
I don't know yet. But there's a way out of this scrape, and I know I can find it. I've only one favor to ask. Don't you mix in and spoil things. How soon will they be up!
Nobody knows.
I've got to be at my dressmakers in an hour. Can't you call them!
Not for worlds!
Then we must, make such a racket they'll have to get up. Where are their rooms!
There and there.
Come Flirt let's get our gymnasium suits on.
We may as well start the racket. Come on!
Thanks! Don't you think a little absinthe would do us good.
It can't shorten my life much!
Here I am!
Slavin! Siwah! What does this mean?
I've been right with you! Drink as a boiled owl! I knew everybody else was on a toot so I filled up. Three very pretty jags we three gentlemen had.
What a beastly fellow!
You dog! Do you mean to say I was drunk.
Both of you! When you got home you tried to unlock our door with your toothbrush and he rung the fire alarm on the lamp post for the door bell. Only way we got you upstairs was to bait the top landing with a bottle of Bourbon.
Get downstairs quick and bring two absinthe frappes.
I shan't hurry a mite!
He's fallen down stairs. I hope he's killed, Mr. Strong. I feel called upon to ask a question. What were you doing at the Riche last night!
I feel called upon to ask a question, what were you doing there!
I- I-
Was it necessary for you to get drunk to find us!
Strong old friend, can I trust you!
I trusted you for a hundred dollars last night.
This is strictly between us. My catching you was an accident. I went to the Riche to have supper with a lady.
You old rascal!
But if this family knew that I'd lose their respect forever.
Why you didn't do anything wrong did you!
No damn it! The widow didn't!
The widow didn't what!
Why- er- that's that's something you didn't understand. What I was going to say is this, that loan of a hundred dollars squares you but in order to save my reputation I must make these youngsters believe that I followed them there and I must punish them accordingly, it's rough on them but-
Don't make it too rough, remember we used to enjoy a little racket in the days gone by when we were their age.
By thunder we did!
Here we are brother sufferers.
If you don't stop your impudence I'll discharge you.
That's what I want! I'm drunk and glad of it! I'm a whale!
A whale! Oh no!
This is the first time in 40 years I've dared to open my head and now I'm a going to let her go. I'm looking to get kicked out of the house.
You shall be!
He'll just give it to those children to prove his own profits. I think I'll take to bed 'till the affair's all over.
I think I shall live until dinner time.
Oh I hope so, we should so miss your cheery "Yea thanks" when the wine is served. Oh Mr. Strong do you know everything about you so interests me; have you a wife!
A wife, no!
Then you're a jolly bachelor!
No not a bachelor.
Not a bachelor, oh! Forgive me if I have touched a tender spot in your heart, you are a widower.
No not a widower.
Excuse me Mr. Strong, you say you're not a single man.
I am not.
Nor a married man, nor a widower, will you kindly tell me what you are!
Well if you must know, I am a divorced man.
A divorced man! How romantic!
Yes and very expensive.
And when are you going to- to try it again!
Never.
Never! Oh don't say that!
Why I'm a dying man.
That's it! With a glorious opportunity to make a woman a widow you have no right to remain single a minute you ought to marry the first woman you can lay your hands on.
You do, to wear mourning for you. How you must-
But the divorce forbade me to marry, it would be contempt of Court.
Then contempt the court, positively despise it!
And go to prison, say it's time to take my medicine
Well I declare
Sweetheart I want-
Oh go away!
What!
Go away you weary me!
Weary you? Why I thought you loved me!
I do, but now won't do! You are not going to die in two years.
I hope not.
Then that lets you out. You're not in it! So don't bother me!
Well I declare!
What's that etc.
You're wanted below!
That's two! I'm going to do 'em all! I've been discharged and before I go I'm going to lick every man in the house! Then I'll kiss all the women.
I'm a whale! Where's that dying man, he's my pie! I'll make him eat his own game.
I'll give you your medicine.
What is it!
Noah is in there killing Mr. Strong.
Go save him!
Give me something to hit him with.
That's too heavy!
There try this!
That's too light
Locked up in the locker the key's down stairs.
Go get it!
Oh wait 'till I get something to hit him with.
Oh he'll be killed! Take the indian club!
No! I can't! I must have the bat!
Oh Rashleigh save him! He'll surely be killed!
Then I'll avenge him!
What's the matter!
Noah is killing Mr. Strong!
I have shortened my life one year.
You've shortened mine fifty! I'll never be able to digest that parrot!
The parrot!
He made me swallow it
That's right! And
Ladies and gentlemen, is there anything I can do for you!
Yes, get out!
Mr. Strong, you are a brave man.
I know it.
Hadn't somebody better go and see if the others are hurt!
With pleasure.
Tell me, who's room was that I ran into there!
Why Uncle Ben's.
I see it all! You're out of your scrape, oh this is funny!
What is it!
Only a letter I saw lying on his desk.
But what is the joke!
You'll see. Come on, start a chorus or something. What, must I start it, very well.
The servant has apologized to everybody but me. He says he hasn't done anything to me and I agree. By the way your Uncle's coming.
Oh! That's the way that you feel, is it? I suppose you consider this affair of last night a laughing matter!
Decidedly, with the laugh on you!
With the laugh on you!
On me? We'll see about that!
Gently now. Mr. Gay, we want you to settle a bet.
I never settle bets.
How about loans? I have the check here as evidence.
Very nice of you.
I offered to bet her a supper at the Cliff House that if any decent looking woman asked you to take her to the masquerade you'd do it.
She took the bet, and so I wrote this note which I have
just picked up in your room
Oh Uncle! I never thought it of you!
What will my father say when I tell him.
How did you happen to run up such a big bill?
What is this item for supper ordered for self and lady?
And what did you want of these two masks!
Why I- you understand.
Mr. Gay, don't you think I've won that bet!
I- Oh I don't think anything about it. Don't one of you
dare to mention this affair again so long as you live.
But about that supper at the Cliff House-
Oh I'll pay for that and we'll all have a good time together, eh Strong!
It will shorten my life a year, but I'm with you!