Erminie

Book and Lyrics by Claxson Bellamy and Harry Paulton
Music by Edward Jakobowski

Comic opera in three acts [originally two acts, three scenes]

CHARACTERS

MARQUIS DE PONTVERT

EUGÈNE MARCEL, the Marquis’s Secretary

VICOMTE DE BRISSAC

DELAUNAY, a young officer

SERGEANT

DUPOIS, landlord at the Lion d’Or

SIMON, waiter at the Lion d’Or

CHEVALIER DE BRABAZON, Marquis’s guest

Two thieves

RAVANNES

CADEAUX

CERISE MARCEL, Erminie’s companion

JAVOTTE, Erminie’s maid

MARIE, peasant girl

PRINCESS DE GRAMPONEUR

ERMINIE DE PONTVERT

Soldiers, peasantry, guests, waiters et al

Overture

ACT I

Scene: Village of Pontvert en fête; the ends of booths etc. seen right, indicating a village fair; an old-fashioned inn, with sign-board ‘Lion d’Or’. Villagers discovered dancing and merrymaking.

Chorus

AROUND IN A WHIRL
WE SKIP, DANCE AND TWIRL;
LET EACH BOY AND GIRL
MAKE MERRY!
OLD MEN IN A STRING
MAY SCORN AT MIRTH’S FLING,
YOUNG MEN IN A RING
MAKE MERRY!
OLD WIVES IN A ROW
MAY FLIRTING FOREGO,
BUT MAIDENS CRY ‘NO!’.
MAKE MERRY!
LET GRIEVING GO BORROW
ITS FARE FROM TO-MORROW;
AWAY WITH ALL SORROW,
MAKE MERRY!
FROM YOUR PATH TROUBLES FLING,
LET US JOIN IN A RING,
LET US DANCE, LET US SING,
MAKE MERRY! 
HA! HA! HA!  HO! HO! HO!
COME, SPORT WHILE WE MAY,
MAKING MERRY; HA! HA!
MAKING MERRY, HO! HO!
ENJOYING TO-DAY
OUR MIRTH WHILE WE MAY.

Marie

(C. advancing)

HERE COMES JAVOTTE! HERE COMES JAVOTTE!

OF GOSSIP SHE WILL HAVE A LOT.

Chorus

YES, YES!  OH, YES!  NO DOUBT!  NO DOUBT!
SHE’LL QUICKLY TELL US ALL ABOUT
THE CHÂTEAU  AND ITS GUESTS, THE FUN,
WHAT’S DOING, AND WHAT’S TO BE DONE.

(Enter Javotte L. U. E.)

JAVOTTE!  JAVOTTE!  YOU WON’T REFUSE
TO TELL US IF YOU’VE ANY NEWS.
YOU WON’T REFUSE! - THE NEWS!  THE NEWS!

Javotte

IMPATIENT! - LA!  DO GIVE ONE BREATH!
DON’T CRUSH AND PESTER ME TO DEATH!
SOME LITTLE MODERATION SHOW.
NOW - TELL ME WHAT YOU WISH TO KNOW.

Chorus

THE NEWS!  THE NEWS!
YOU CAN’T REFUSE,
YOU MUST HAVE SOME.

Javotte

INDEED I’VE NOT!

Chorus

OH, WHAT A SHAME!

Javotte

EXCEPT -

Chorus

WHAT? WHAT?

Javotte

EXCEPT THAT SHORTLY HERE YOU’LL SEE
THE MARQUIS, MAM’SELLE ERMINIE,
CHEVALIER DE BRABAZON,.
OF OUR DISTINGUISHED GUESTS - THE ONE
YOU MOST SHOULD SEE,
OF HIGH DEGREE,
A BEAU OF BEAUX
FROM TOP TO TOE.
THEY’RE COMING HERE TO VIEW THE FAIR.

Chorus

HOW NICE - OH, HERE’S EXCITEMENT RARE!
COME JOIN THE RING!
COME, DANCE AND SING! etc.

(Javotte, who goes up, gets down L. among villagers when Simon is on. Simon enters from Inn L., places drinking cups on table. Some of the crowd gather round shouting.)

Peasant

What a time you’ve been with the drinks, Simon!

Simon

Don’t you be so impertinent! You’ll have plenty of time before dusk to get drunk in a deliberate, business-like way.

Peasant

We must lose no time if we wish to get drunk on this.

Omnes

Ha! Ha! That’s true!

Second Peasant

We have tasted stronger wine than this.

Simon

Master’s a considerate man at fair time. He knows the quantity you’ll take and tries to balance it with the quantity he gives. Ah, Javotte! You here? I was sorry to keep you waiting last night, but I was stopped by a rush of business.

Marie

Don’t believe him, Javotte, don’t believe him!

Javotte

I shall believe him if I like. I don’t want your advice.

Omnes

Bravo, Javotte, bravo!

Marie

(Crossing L.)

He’s a deceiver, Javotte. You’d better give him up.

Javotte

Indeed, perhaps you’d like me to give him up to you !

(Going up a little R.C.)

Simon

That’s just it. She’s always making eyes at me.

Marie

(Advancing to Simon C.)

You, you tomtit!

Javotte

(Interposing)

You dare to put a finger on him!

(Drum heard.)

Marie

Hark, the mountebanks! The fair’s beginning. Come along!

No 1a - Exit (Chorus)

AROUND IN A WHIRL, etc.

(All exeunt except Simon and Javotte. Enter Dufois from Inn. A few, the swells, go off L.U.E., all the others R. to fair.)

Dufois

Where are they going? What’s the matter? You’re a pretty waiter to allow our customers to walk away like that!

Simon

If the wine were better quality they wouldn’t walk away like that. They’d walk away like this….

(Staggering)

Dufois

What’s the matter with the wine? Are they complaining of its strength?

(Tastes wine.)

Javotte

(R.)

Oh, no, Monsieur Dufois, quite the reverse!

Dufois

You idiot! That was the barrel I intended for this evening, when they wouldn’t have known any better.

(Goes down C.L.)

Javotte

Don’t scold him, Monsieur. He can’t help his natural stupidity.

(Simon goes up stage, looks off L.U.E.)

Dufois

I’m afraid not, Javotte. When you marry him, you’ll find him an awful fool.

Javotte

Yes, I think he’ll make a good husband.

Dufois

Well! You’ve a good houseful of visitors, I hear.

Javotte

Yes, and besides all those who are staying at the Château we shall have a lot of extra guests to-night at Mam’selle Erminie’s fête.

Dufois

This is her birthday!

Javotte

Yes, and you should see the preparations for the ball.

(Dancing)

Dufois

Give the old man a chance! And how is it you’re not helping?

Javotte

I’ve come to see the fair, and Mam’selle Erminie’s coming with her papa the Marquis and that distinguished aristocrat the Chevalier de Brabazon.

Dufois

And Monsieur Eugène? Poor young man! He seems to fret more than ever at his reduced position.

(Coming down C.)

Javotte

Shall I tell you why, Monsieur? He’s in love with Mam’selle Erminie.

Dufois

And what does her papa the Marquis say to it?

Javotte

Oh, he doesn’t know. Eugène won’t tell him, but reproaches himself constantly for ingratitude.

Dufois

I see what you mean, Javotte. The young gentleman thinks that he makes but a poor return to the Marquis, who has done so much for him and his sister Cerise.

Simon

Well, what is there to make a fuss about? The young gent works for what he gets. He don’t eat the bread of idleness.

Javotte

No, but you would if you could - and the butter of idleness too! Get to your business!

(Dufois crosses C., Javotte crosses R.C.)

Dufois

You’re right, Javotte. How long are you going to loiter away your time here?

Simon

Ah, master, there’s something about your manner that makes one forget.

(Getting up)

Dufois

There’ll be something about my manner presently will make you remember ! Get to your business! He wants a lot of looking after, Javotte.

Javotte

Yes, I shall look after him after a bit.

Dufois

After a bit ? True! When you’re looking after him you’re not looking after much .

Simon

But I want just as much looking after.

Javotte

Get before, then!

(Crosses to Simon. Exit to Inn. Shouts heard.)

Dufois

Ha! Here come the great folks!

(Goes up looking off L. as Simon and Javotte exeunt to Inn. Omnes enter, followed by Marquis, Cerise and Erminie.)

Chorus

VIVE LE MARQUIS! VIVE LE MARQUIS!

WELCOME! WELCOME TO THE FÊTE!

’TIS OF GRACIOUSNESS A MARK WE
THOROUGHLY APPRECIATE.
AT VILLAGE FEAST, HERE MEETING YOU,
WITH DUTEOUS SERVICE GREETING YOU,
WITH CHEERY VOICE REPEATING, YOU
ARE WELCOME TO OUR FÊTE.

Marquis

THANKS, DEAR CHILDREN! BLESS YOU, BLESS YOU!

TO RESPOND WOULD BUT DISTRESS YOU.

Erminie

THAT IT WOULD. DEAR PAPA, SPARE US!

DON’T SUCH AGONY PREPARE US!

Cerise

TRUE, INDEED! EXPERIENCE TEACHES

THERE’S MUCH ANGUISH IN SET SPEECHES.

Erminie

MY FATHER’S FEELINGS YOU KNOW WELL.

Chorus

WE DO, WE DO, WE DO, MAM’SELLE!

Erminie

WELL, AND WHAT’S THE TATTLE?
IS IT CHARACTER OR CATTLE?
WHO IS AILING?  WHO IS THRIVING?
HAVE THE BUSY BEES DONE HIVING?
IS THE FODDER CUT AND CARRIED?
WHO IS BURIED?  WHO IS MARRIED?
WHAT’S THE LATEST GOSSIP?  SAY!
TELL ME, PRAY!  COME, TELL ME, PRAY!

Marie

AH, MAM’SELLE, YOU’RE QUIZZING EVER,

ALWAYS MERRY, GLOOMY NEVER.

Omnes

VIVE MAM’SELLE! VIVE LE MARQUIS, etc.

Marquis

Thank you, thank you, friends. Why, where is the Chevalier?

Erminie

Good gracious, Papa, I hope you haven’t lost him!

Cerise

That would be serious!

(Marquis goes up.)

Erminie

(To girls)

Yes , a real court beau. Such a curio you don’t often see.

Marquis

Oh, there you are!

(Enter Chevalier down L.)

Chevalier

Excuse me, I’ve been admiring the duck-pond. What inveterate bathers those succulent bipeds are!

Omnes

Oh!

Erminie

Ah, there now! Isn’t he nice?

(Re-enter Javotte.)

Girls

Oh, yes, Mam’selle.

(All laugh aside.)

Cerise

Oh, do be careful , or he’ll guess you’re bantering!

Marquis

Fine girls, eh, Chevalier?

Chevalier

Just as you say. They have a freshness of complexion that compared with that of our Court dames is novel, not to say curious!

Marquis

Oh no, Chevalier, this is nature’s coloring. It is the Court dames whose complexions are fresh and curious. They are laid on daily.

Chevalier

Just as you say. Fresh-laid daily. How expressive, too, are their eyes.

Erminie

Now, girls - I told you not to make eyes at the Chevalier. It’s too bad!

(Omnes laugh.)

Chevalier

No, no! Don’t check their innocent enjoyment. They are pleased, I am uninjured. Just as you say, there is really such a delightful novelty about this rural rusticity I could positively spend several days here.

Cerise

Ah, but what will become of us when you leave?

Javotte

(L.)

Ah, what indeed?

Chevalier

Yes. Poor things, it will be blessed blissfulness to think that here I am always remembered.

Javotte

(L. Crosses to Chevalier.)

Oh, we shall never forget you, Chevalier. Shall we girls?

Girls

Oh, no, never!

Chevalier

Do you know, if I could believe it possible, I should almost believe you are quizzing me?

Erminie

(R. Crosses to Chevalier.)

Quizzing? Oh no, Chevalier! Could we?

Girls

Oh, no, Mam’selle!

Chevalier

Just as you say. But come! I must see every feature of interest.

Marie

Have we not all interesting features?

Chevalier

Yes, I should see all the sights since I am amongst you.

Erminie

(C.)

There are no sights amongst us.

Omnes

No! None!

Chevalier

Exactly! But the oldest inhabitants, the customary fossil. You, of course, have the customary fossil.

Javotte

Oh, yes, we’ve got the fossil .

Chevalier

And where is he?

Erminie

Oh, he’s not far away. He’s about.

(Omnes laugh.)

Chevalier

Just as you say.

Erminie

I suppose they haven’t a fossil at Court?

Chevalier

No, not at present.

Erminie

I thought not. If you’d like to take ours home with you….

(Omnes laugh. Marquis comes down C.)

Marquis

Come, friends, don’t let us keep you from your festivities, and remember you return and drink happiness to my daughter Erminie.

Omnes

Hurrah!

(Cerise and Erminie go up to tree.)

AT VILLAGE FEAST HERE MEETING YOU, etc.

Marquis

I thought it best to send the damsels away, Chevalier. You are but human, you know, and they’ll play sad havoc with your heart.

(Crosses to L.)

Chevalier

(Crosses to C.)

Oh, no, I profess my wild oats are for the most part sown. I am less susceptible than I was. As age advances, our eyes are closed to….

Cerise

(Up C.)

Quite wrong , Chevalier. You eyes are opened.

Erminie

(Advancing C.)

Exactly! You see too much. Blind happiness is given only to love that is young and impulsive.

(R.C. Cerise and Marquis at back corner of Inn)

AH, WHEN LOVE IS YOUNG ALL THE WORLD SEEMS GAY,
TRA, LA, LA, LA, etc.
HE SIPS ITS SWEETS AS HE GOES HIS WAY;
TRA, LA, LA, LA, etc.
HIS HEART IN THE SUNLIGHT OF LOVE ABIDES;
NO PANG, NOT A THOUGHT OF DECEIT;
FOR YOUTH’S ROSY TINT EVERY BLEMISH HIDES,
AND THE DREAM OF YOUNG LOVE IS SWEET,
TRA, LA, LA, LA, etc.

AH, BUT LOVE HATH SOURED WITH ADVANCING YEARS,
TRA, LA, LA, LA, LA, etc.
HE KNOWS NO JOY FOR HE’S TORN BY FEARS;
TRA, LA, LA, LA, LA, etc.
HIS AIM IS FOIBLES, NOT CHARMS, TO SEEK,
HIS TASTE SO FASTIDIOUS GROWS;
HE DOUBTS AND MISGIVES IF HIS LOVE BUT SPEAK,
AND THE BLISS OF YOUNG LOVE NE’ER KNOWS,
TRA, LA, LA, LA, etc.

(Cerise and Erminie go up R. C., Chevalier crosses R.C., Marquis L. C. Enter Dufois from Inn.)

Dufois

Welcome, most noble Marquis. This is an honor, a red letter day - worthy of a bottle of the choice old scarlet seal.

(Enter Eugêne L.U.E., speaks to ladies and advances R.)

Marquis

Very good, Dufois. So be it! So be it! Well, Eugène, what news?

Eugène

(R.)

There is no sign of the chaise returning. The diligence must be late.

Marquis

I am getting most anxious. Dufois, we must await the Vicomte’s arrival here!

Dufois

Certainly, my lord. I have some capons now roasting on the spit.

Marquis

If he does not come within the hour, I’ll trouble you for something toothsome!

Dufois

(To Marquis)

Couldn’t I induce you, my lord, to take this opportunity to sign the renewal of my lease?

Marquis

Be it so, Dufois. Lead the way, and we’ll crack a bottle of your old scarlet seal in honor of my friend.

(Dufois exits into Inn.)

Chevalier

(to Marquis)

No, no, not at all!

Marquis

The Vicomte de Brissac!

(Cerise, Erminie comes to Eugène.)

Chevalier

Yes, just as you say, who is…, what is… de Brissac, the Vicomte? That is, is he a person of importance?

Marquis

(to Chevalier)

Oh, the highest, Chevalier. His father is my oldest friend and comrade. We fought our first campaign sharing the same tent together. The Vicomte comes here as the affianced husband of my daughter, Erminie

Cerise, Eugène & Erminie

What??!!

Erminie

(Crosses to C.)

My future husband, Papa? Good gracious, you never even hinted at such an event!

(Marquis crosses to Erminie C. Eugène crosses to right, Chevalier crosses to L. Cerise R.C.)

Marquis

(Crosses to Eugénie.)

Eh? No, I intended it as a pleasant surprise for you. You see I am always thinking of your happiness, you baggage.

(To Chevalier)

Erminie

Oh, Eugène, see what you’ve done, or rather see what you haven’t done. Why couldn’t you have spoken to Papa before I was consigned to somebody else?

(Crosses L.)

Eugène

(R.C.)

I feared his anger. I had not the presumption to tell him I loved you.

Erminie

(Crosses R.C.)

You had the presumption to tell me that you loved me, and I could have found it out for myself.

Cerise

Don’t reproach him for his boldness, Erminie

Erminie

I don’t, my dear. It’s the want of it I complain of.

Eugène

(On rustic seat R.)

The prize seemed too great, the happiness too much for me.

Erminie

(Crosses L.)

Oh well, if you think I’m too much for you.

Cerise

(C.)

Oh, Erminie, do be serious!

Erminie

What is the good of it? I’m sure Eugène’s serious enough for both of us. Look at him!

(Crosses L.)

I really don’t know which is the most dismal prospect - his face or the thought of this dreadful marriage.

(Simon enters from Inn.)

Simon

The Marquis is asking for Monsieur Eugène.

Eugène

(Rising)

I come. Ah, why?

(Exit Simon.)

Erminie, is there no hope?

Erminie

Of course there is, stupid! Don’t take that despairing face to Papa or he’ll certainly suspect something.

Cerise

Stay here, Eugène. Compose yourself. I’ll see what the Marquis wants.

(Erminie crosses to Cerise.)

Erminie, give him some word of consolation.

(Cerise exits to Inn.)

Erminie

Where am I to look for consolation?

(Crosses to Eugène.)

Eugène, why are you so downhearted?

Eugène

Erminie, do I not love you?

Erminie

And is that so unpleasant a feeling?

Eugène

It is when I reflect you can never be mine.

Erminie

Then don’t, or, if you must, hope for the best and reflect a little sunshine.

(Erminie crosses to and sits on bench, corner of Inn.)

Eugène

(C.)

It seems my lot to live only upon a sad remembrance of the past. Oh, could I but animate my heart with half your faith in the brightness of a brighter future!

No 4 - Duet ‘Past and Future’ (Erminie & Eugène)

Eugène

THERE IS A SWEET REMEMBRANCE OF THE PAST,
A TREASURED DREAM, A DREAM I FONDLY STORE,
A MEM’RY THAT WITHIN MY HEART WILL LAST,
TO CHEER AND COMFORT EVER, EVERMORE,
A SOLACE SWEET, A BLESSING STILL,
THE HOPE WHICH TIME CAN NE’ER FULFIL;
THE PAST HAS FONDEST DREAMS THAT LIVE,
WHICH IN THE FUTURE NE’ER CAN BE;
THE PRESENT KNOWS NOT, CANNOT GIVE.
RESTORE THE HAPPY PAST TO ME!

Erminie

OUR DESTINIES THE UNSEEN FUTURE HIDES,
THE COMING GLOOM WE CANNOT, CANNOT SEE,
AND CHEERING HOPE FOR E’ER WITH US ABIDES,
INSTILLING THOUGHTS OF JOYS, OF JOYS TO BE;
THE PAST, THOUGH BLEST, MAY NOT COMPARE
WITH FUTURE TRANSPORTS WE MAY SHARE,
THE FUTURE HATH ITS GOLDEN SHOWERS,
AND STORE OF PLEASING, BRIGHTEST TOYS,
WHICH HOPE DECLARES MAY YET BE OURS,
ECLIPSING PAST AND PRESENT JOYS.

(Enter Cerise from Inn.)

Cerise

You are wanted, Eugène, to witness the Marquis’s signature.

(Remains L.C.)

Eugène

Ah, why did I not trust in his generous nature? It is useless to tell him now.

Erminie

Quite useless.

Eugène

Fool, fool that I was.

(Exit to Inn.)

Erminie

Cerise, I wish your brother wouldn’t call himself names. It isn’t complimentary to my taste in loving him.

Cerise

Not in words. But I knew and placed faith in Ernest.

Erminie

I’m glad it wasn’t in jest .

Cerise

Ernest de Brissac, a younger brother of this very Vicomte. That was his name.

Erminie

Oh, then you are acquainted with my future tyrant.

Cerise

(Crosses R.)

No, we knew but one of the family. But not a word of this to Eugène. He wishes to avoid all intercourse with the friends of our prosperity.

(Sits on seat, Erminie at back.)

Erminie

Oh, that dreadful pride! And your sunshine lover fled before the storm-cloud trouble.

Cerise

No, he was called home suddenly before our misfortunes came.

Erminie

And he never sought you out?

Cerise

How could he with the distress that quickly followed? We left the district. You see, Erminie, we each have our secret sorrows.

Erminie

Of course, everybody has, and I continue to take comfort in the belief that my neighbor’s trouble is double my own.

Marquis

(Without)

If you don’t mind, a few minutes will complete our business.

Erminie

There’s Papa.

(Cerise rises.)

Away with the skeleton, and close the cupboard doors.

(Both go up R. Javotte and Chevalier enter from Inn.)

Javotte

Mam’selle, you are to take his Excellency the Chevalier through the fair. Your father, the Marquis, will follow

(Chevalier, who has followed, crosses R. of Javotte.)

Erminie

It’s a great responsibility, Chevalier.

(Crosses to C.)

But, if you feel equal to the gabble of the rabble,….

Chevalier

I have some trepidation. I have not seen a country fair for years - since I was a boy, in fact.

Cerise

Ah, then you wouldn’t remember it.

Chevalier

Just as you say. My only recollection is that there was a great deal of noise, of which I was rather afraid.

Javotte

(L.)

Couldn’t you get them to muffle the drums, Mam’selle?

Erminie

(C.)

Oh, yes, and beat the gongs piano!

Chevalier

(L.C.)

A piano gong would indeed be a boon.

Cerise

(R.)

This way, Chevalier.

Chevalier

(Crosses in front to Cerise.)

I can’t say that I’m in love with the fair. It is all so plebeian. The girl on stilts is ungraceful and leggy, the fortune-telling pony positively vulgar, and the poker-swallowing is not in good taste, carried to excess.

Erminie

Well, there won’t be too much of the living skeleton.

Cerise

But there may be of the fat woman.

Chevalier

Yes, if it were moderately so, but the fat is generally overdone - dreadfully.

(Exit R.2.E. with Cerise.)

Javotte

Don’t despond, Mam’selle.

Erminie

(C.)

No, Javotte, I’ll find forgetfulness in dissipation, seek oblivion with the bearded lady, gain stoicism from the talking fish and philosophy from the learned pig.

(Exit R.2.E.)

Javotte

(C.)

There never was such a lady for spirits. They may talk of her papa’s bravery, but I’d like to see the forlorn hope she wouldn’t leave or the fellow who wouldn’t follow her.

(Eugène has entered from Inn.)

Eugène

(C.)

Alone, Javotte?

Javotte

(R.C.)

Nearly, Monsieur.

(To Eugène)

Only my own thoughts to dispute with.

Eugène

Ah, not always the most agreeable companions!

Javotte

No, but they’re constant. That’s one recommendation.

Eugène

Not if constantly sorrowful.

Javotte

Oh, sir, if you but had half Mam’selle Erminie’s confidence. There’s many a slip…, and faint heart….

Eugène

I know all you would say, Javotte, but I can see little hope.

Javotte

Oh, don’t say that, sir. I’m sure any family might be proud of so sweet a gentleman. You need only speak, you have but to say.

(Enter Simon.)

Simon

Any orders, please?

Javotte

Yes, leave us, waiter, till you’re called for!

(Crosses to Simon L., Eugène crosses to R.)

Eugène

That’s right, Simon. Take care of your fiancée.

(Exit R.2.E.)

Javotte

Get in the house and wait until you are called for.

(Taking Simon by the ear and putting him in the Inn. Enter Marie R.U.E. with flower-girls. Crosses L. from C.)

Marie

(C )

Soldiers, soldiers! There are soldiers marching down the road. I saw them from the swing-boats.

(Exit followed by flower-girls, L.U.E.)

Javotte

Soldiers! Where are they?

(Runs to back.)

Simon

What is it to you where they are? The soldiers don’t want you.

Javotte

(Runs down)

I’m not quite so sure of that. There’s one thing certain. You won’t be wanted by the soldiers.

Simon

Don’t drive me to desperation, or I’ll join them.

Javotte

(At back)

They wouldn’t have you. You’re too short!

(Off L.U.E.)

Simon

(Runs to back.)

I won’t be too short, long. I’ll enlist for a drummer.

(Comes down. Music cue for soldiers’ chorus, the rest of the speech spoken through it.)

No, it’s better to be in the public line than a private in the line. Glory’s all very well in its way, but its way is a little way out of my way.

(Exit into Inn. Soldiers’ chorus heard. Enter villagers R. & L., flower-girls et al, soldiers, Sergeant and Delaunay)

Soldiers

ALL FOR GLORY THE SOLDIER’S LIFE;
FROM THE CONFLICT SCORNING E’ER TO FLEE,
THE HERO’S AIM IN FAME IS STRIFE;
IN LOVE, IN WAR THE VICTOR HE.

Chorus

ALL FOR GLORY THE SOLDIER’S LIFE, etc.

Delaunay

(L.)

Don’t mob us, my dears! Till the inner man is refreshed, the outer man is unequal to any effort. Besides, we are travel-stained and not looking our best.

(Enter Simon from Inn and go down C.)

Simon

A flagon each, Mr. Officer.

(R. of Delaunay)

Delaunay

A very good guess, waiter. You’re a smart fellow.

(Slapping him on the back)

Simon

Oh! You’d make any fellow smart!

(All laugh.)

Delaunay

In what less could we toast such charmers as these?

Javotte

(Crosses to Delaunay.)

Have you come to stay long, Monsieur Captain?

Delaunay

No, my pet. I’m sorry for your sake we have not.

Simon

Not so much familiarity! These young ladies - that young lady in particular - object to being petted by strangers.

(Javotte goes to C.)

Delaunay

I haven’t heard these young ladies - particularly that young lady - say so.

Marie

No, and not likely to.

(Girls laugh.)

Omnes

No, no!

Delaunay

Bravely said, little one. Don’t be afraid, waiter. We don’t run away with them. Ladies on the march are against regulations. Beauty and duty don’t step together.

Simon

No, but pipe-playing and popinjays do.

Soldiers

What?!

(Making movement towards Simon. Javotte crosses and stands in front of Simon.)

Marquis

(L. of Delaunay)

What’s this? What’s this?

Villagers

The Marquis!

Marquis

Take care, Simon. Never meddle with the military!

Simon

I won’t again.

Marquis

(L.C.)

Well, girls, how many hearts are slain? Are you all conquered by the trappings of glory?

Delaunay

(R.C.)

No, no, Monsieur le Marquis. We are the vanquished. My whole troop fell victims at once to the optical batteries of the village bells.

Javotte

We must do you the justice to say you didn’t wince under fire.

Girls

No, no!

Marquis

They seemed rather to like it.

Girls

Yes, yes!

Marquis

Trust them at beauty’s call to surrender. An army would present arms. Come, Simon, a wine cup for every man!

(Simon exits to Inn.)

Soldiers

Vive le Marquis!

(Pile arms. Re-enter Simon with wine cups. Each soldier takes one, then falls into place again.)

Marquis

As an old soldier, you must pledge me, Captain. You come opportunely in the midst of our festivities.

Delaunay

We’ve little time for enjoyment, Marquis. We are engaged upon an unpleasant duty.

Marquis

Duty to a soldier should always be pleasant. His first article should be obedience, his last self-consideration. Take the word of an old campaigner. Discipline is the well-spring of glory.

No 6 - Martial Song ‘A Soldier’s Life’ (Marquis)

DULL IS THE LIFE OF THE SOLDIER IN PEACE,
WITH HATEFUL ROUTINE UNTIL WAR BRINGS RELEASE.
HARSH DISCIPLINE TRAMMELS THE FREEDOM WE KNOW.
WHAT BETTER THAN THAT IN THE FACE OF THE FOE?
THE SOLDIER HAS LEARNT HE MUST BRIDLE HIS WILL,
SUBMIT WITHOUT MURMUR TO RIGOROUS DRILL;
BUT THE SUMMONS TO WAR IS THE SOLDIERS’S REWARD,
JOY TO BRIGHTEN HIS CORSLET, HIS HELMET AND SWORD.

Chorus

ALL FOR GLORY, THE SOLDIER’S LIFE,
FROM THE CONFLICT SCORNING E’ER TO FLEE,
THE HERO’S AIM IS FAME IN STRIFE;
IN LOVE, IN WAR THE VICTOR HE.  

GLAD IS THE HEART AT THE STERNEST CAMPAIGN

(FOR WE’VE NOTHING TO LOSE AND WE’VE PLENTY TO GAIN),

TO RUSH MIDST THE STEEL, MIDST THE SMOKE AND THE FLAME,
TO CARVE WITH OUR SABRES A PATHWAY TO FAME.
WE’VE LEARNT TO OBEY, AND UNTIL WE ARE TOLD
WE DREAM NOT OF LEAVING THE POSTS THAT WE HOLD;
WE’D FALL WHERE WE STAND, TILL THE WARNING SOUND COMES
OF RECALL, IN THE MUSIC OF BUGLES AND DRUMS.

Chorus

ALL FOR GLORY, etc.

Omnes

Hurrah!

(Soldiers put down cups and retake their guns. Marquis L.C., Delaunay C.)

Delaunay

Don’t be afraid, Marquis. We shall perform the duty allotted us. But when I tell you our mission is thief-hunting, you will understand it is an office repugnant to the feelings of gentlemen.

Marquis

True, true, Captain. You are tracking convicts, eh?

Delaunay

Two notorious thieves, who have escaped from prison. You’ve seen no suspicious characters, waiter?

Simon

(L.)

We don’t take in suspicious characters at the Golden Lion.

Marquis

(L.C.)

They’d scarcely venture into so public a place.

Simon

No, not while I’m here!

Marquis

(Crosses to C.)

If you are going through the fair, I shall have the pleasure.

Delaunay

You will honor me, Marquis. Come, men, fall in. Good-bye, pretty ones! Attention! March!

No 6a - Exit (Chorus)

ALL FOR GLORY THE SOLDIER’S LIFE, etc.

(Omnes exeunt R., Javotte kissing her hand to Captain. Simon, jealous, exits to Inn. Javotte follows. Important that no one should go L.U.E., where thieves are coming.)

(Ravannes enters from L.U.E., boldly crosses to L., then down R., watching everybody off.)

Ravannes

Caddy, Caddy, come along Caddy, don’t loiter!

(Enter Cadeaux L. U. E. carrying umbrella, small bundle and portmanteau, with initials V. de B.)

Cadeaux

Don’t wurrage me, Ravvy. I ain’t equil to it!

Ravannes

We’re all right. The valiant sons of Mars have departed. There they go!

(Crossing, looking off R.)

Cadeaux

Oh, do be careful, Ravvy, they’ll see you! Lord, I may never see Paris. I know they’re arter us!

Ravannes

On the contrary, they are before us, and as long as they continue to perambulate in their present direction their chance of catching us will be remarkably remote.

(Crosses to L.)

Cadeaux

Send they may never look back, and while they go West let us go East. Come on!

Ravannes

No, Caddy, we never go East. It’s low fashion. Wealth, rank and beauty all incline to the West. Everything worth having will be West in time .

Cadeaux

Well, don’t let us be wasting time . Think of the risk we’re running.

Ravannes

Running would indeed be risky. It would only call attention to our flight.

Cadeaux

Stopping’s wuss. Send I may never. I got the jumps like blooming a kangaroo. The fair is on, the place is full of people.

Ravannes

So much the better for us!

(Crosses to R.)

The more there are to suspect, the less suspicion there’ll be. Doubtless there are more suspicious characters.

Cadeaux

(Coming to C.)

There can’t be more suspicious characters.

Ravannes

(Crosses to Cadeaux, C., threatening.)

How dare you?

(Ravannes carries a sword-stick, which he here draws and threatens Cadeaux rather savagely. It should be made strong here, because half-drawing the sword or an indication will often be sufficient afterwards to fright Cadeaux. The business occurs often at the discretion of the actors and is a relief to the business of always kicking Cadeaux, which however is good in its way.)

Cadeaux

(Down)

I didn’t, I didn’t. I can prove a halibi.

Ravannes

Be dumb, chicken liver! Betray us by your infernal cowardice and I’ll put a full stop to your trembling.

(Goes up to C.R. Business with sword)

Cadeaux

Don’t! It is my first offence. What a man he is! He wurrages me till I don’t know which end of me’s uppermost. What shall I do with the rag bag?

Ravannes

Put it down. Put it down.

Cadeaux

Put it down? Put it down for somebody to pick up? What was the good of priggin’ the portmantle for it to be nabbed by somebody else?

(Puts it on table.)

Ravannes

(Crosses down R.)

Why this want of confidence in your fellow-man? Why should you take everyone for a thief?

(Crosses to table.)

Cadeaux

(Advancing C.)

Why should everyone take me for a thief? I didn’t arrange it. Fate muddled it up and purshooted me into the wrong rut. I should ha made a better rabbit than a robber. It warren’s my fault!

Ravannes

(With portmanteau)

V. de B.! What can be the meaning of V. de B.?

Cadeaux

Vide Boolong! Ve’d better bolt!

(Going up C.)

Ravannes

Come back, I say! Come back, fool! Why are you going?

(Threatening)

Cadeaux

I warn’t. I can prove a halibi!

Ravannes

(Working at portmanteau)

It grieved me deeply to have to appropriate the young gentleman’s luggage, but I required a change of linen and he being about my figure….

Cadeaux

(R.C.)

Anybody’s linen ’ud fit me. I was sorry for the young innocent.

Ravannes

My dear Caddy, it’s the confounded authorities at Toulon who are to blame for not supplying us with bullion to defray our exes. It’s all the result of governmental cheeseparing. The executive should have seen that we had means of transport.

Cadeaux

Transport? Oh, Ravvy, don’t talk shop!

Ravannes

(Crosses to Cadeaux.)

Caddy, I’ve a growing conviction….

Cadeaux

And several previous convictions.

(Ravannes laughs, goes back to table.)

Suppose the young innocent should foller us and blow the gaff? Suppose he should break away?

Ravannes

(C. at table)

How can he, fool? We tied him and the trees together!

Cadeaux

Bark to bark !

Ravannes

We took his portmanteau.

Cadeaux

And left him the trunk!

Ravannes

Like a sailor, lashed firmly to the elm .

Cadeaux

No, stranded at the beach !

Ravannes

He grew restive and broke away once.

Cadeaux

But he was left at the post after all. If he should follow us and break away it would be all over. Oh, Ravvy, let’s do a scarper!

(Coming R.C.)

Ravannes

(Threatening)

Come back, can’t you? Will you dispense with your insufferable slang? Adopt the manners of a gentleman!

Cadeaux

(R.)

How can I? Who’m I to learn it out of?

Ravannes

What did you say? I’ll perforate….

Cadeaux

Mercy, Ravvy, it’s my first offence. Let me off light!

Ravannes

You cowardly thief !

Cadeaux

Stash your patter, pal. Don’t peach on your pardner.

Ravannes

Bah! It’s written on your face, jail-bird.

(Crosses to table.)

Cadeaux

It’s the want of a wash. I’d be a perfect gentleman if I had a wash.

Ravannes

(Opening portmanteau)

As I thought, linen - spotless - linen, shirts, collars and cuffs.

Cadeaux

And cuffs?! Oh Lor’! I’m innocent - and I can prove a halibi!

Ravannes

(Crosses to Cadeaux.)

Silence, you idiot! Are you a man?

(Crosses to table. Business with knife)

Cadeaux

(On knees)

I dunno. Fate muddled my horridscope. I ought a bin ’atched a dicky-bird. Why warn’t I blessed with the ‘armless wobbling of the nightengel or the hundefiled prattle of the innocent duck?

Ravannes

Stop your cackle! I must make a change. We must have a room here!

Cadeaux

No! No, let’s be going on again!

(Going up)

Ravannes

Don’t you be going off again! We rest to-night, start to-morrow!

(L.C.)

Cadeaux

Start where?

(Sits beside table. Ravannes promenades in front.)

Ravannes

Where? Where is the home of the confraternity?

Cadeaux

In the metrolopus!

Ravannes

Where are the police most numerous?

Cadeaux

In the basement.

Ravannes

Where are they never to be found when wanted?

Cadeaux

On their beats! Thank goodness for it!

Ravannes

Paris! The home of the industrious! The home of the gamin! The field of the mobsmen, the harvest home of the merry, nimble, light-fingered clyfaker!

Cadeaux

Slang, sling it!

Ravannes

Yes, Paris, where the clyfaker is but the needle in the bundle of hay, the one drop of scoundrelism in the infinite ocean of rascality.

Cadeaux

Don’t mek a noise about it!

Ravannes

There, dear Caddy, we will resume once more our philanthropic pursuit of easing suffering humanity of its load of superabundant luxuries.

No 7a - Thieves’ Duet ‘Downy Jail-Birds of a Feather’ (Ravannes & Cadeaux)

Ravannes

WE’RE A PHILANTHROPIC COUPLE, BE IT KNOWN,

Cadeaux

LIGHT-FINGERED, STICKING TO WHATE’ER WE TOUCH.

Ravannes

IN THE INT’REST OF HUMANITY ALONE

Cadeaux

OF WEALTH RELIEVING THOSE WHO HAVE TOO MUCH.

Ravannes

THE SOUR OLD GENT, WHOSE WORSHIP VILE IS DROSS.

Cadeaux

WE HATE TO SEE A WALLOWING IN TIN;

Ravannes

IT AIN’T ’COS GAIN TO US, TO HIM IS LOSS.

Cadeaux

WE EASES HIM ’COS AVARICE IS SIN.

Ravannes & Cadeaux

(Refrain)

DOWNY JAIL-BIRDS OF A FEATHER

(To L.)

WE ARE SHIFTERS, WE ARE LIFTERS,

(To R.)

WORKING SKILFULLY TOGETHER.
THROUGH THE WICKED WORLD WE ROMP
EASING MANY A MORTAL BURDEN,

(To L.)

KINDER COVES WE NEVER HEARD OF,

(To R.)

BUT A TRUTH YOU’LL TAKE OUR WORD ON,

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME.

Ravannes

WHEN THE MASHER’S ON A SPREE, WE OFTEN PRIG

Cadeaux

FROM POCKET EV’RY STIVER - NOTHING LESS;

Ravannes

HE WOULD ONLY DRINK AND FIGHT, AND GO THE RIG,

Cadeaux

HIS CONSTITUTION RUIN - NOTHING LESS.

Ravannes

HIS RINGS, AND THINGS, AND FIN’RY WE EXPECS.

Cadeaux

FOR STUCK-UP PRIDE IN SUCH THINGS ISN’T GOOD.

Ravannes

AND WHEN HIS WATCH WE CAREFULLY ANNEX,

Cadeaux

IT’S ONLY ’COS WE KNOW THE POLICEMAN WOULD.

Ravannes & Cadeaux

(Refrain; business as in chorus of first verse, dance and encores ad lib.)

DOWNY JAIL-BIRDS, etc.

(Ravannes gets sword-stick off table.)

Ravannes

House ho! Call about you now! Put on a bold front!

(Crosses to R. Cadeaux gets bundle and umbrella, crosses to L.)

Cadeaux

(R.C.)

How can I put on a bold front with my only dicky at the wash?

Ravannes

House ho! House ho!

Cadeaux

How so! How so!

Ravannes

No waiter to serve! Is this a hostelry or an asylum for imbeciles?

Cadeaux

(Crossing L.)

No server to wait. Is this a hinn or a hassalum for cripples?

(Simon enters from Inn, crossing R.C.L. of Ravannes.)

Ravannes

Waiter! Do you wish someone to elope with your furniture?

Simon

(R.C.)

No fear of that, sir. No thieves here.

Cadeaux

(L.C.)

That’s all you know!

(Ravannes kicks Cadeaux behind Simon.)

Ravannes

(R.)

There are some questionable characters on the fair-ground.

Cadeaux

But there’s no previous conviction agen us .

(Ravannes threatens.)

Simon

What’s the matter with the gentleman?

Ravannes

My friend is timid and retiring. He has been very delicately reared, which being a young man of rare discernment you will observe. You are a young man of discretion, I’m sure, and will readily recognise a Louis when you see one.

(Gives coin.)

Cadeaux

What are you chucking the dinale about like that for?

(Ravannes threatens Cadeaux.)

Simon

Yes, sir, I can, and I knows a gentleman when I sees one, too .

Cadeaux

Yes, and you sees one , two now.

Ravannes

Just so. I’m one, and my friend’s the other.

Cadeaux

No, you’re the hother and my friend’s one.

Simon

Oh, yes, sir. I can see that. Thankee very much.

Ravannes

No thanks, friend. Put it in your pocket. It is the duty of those who have the means to keep money in constant circulation to make it pass from hand to pocket.

(Beckons Cadeaux.)

From pocket to hand.

Cadeaux

(Takes money from Simon’s pocket.)

I’ve got it, I’ve got it!

(Spins it up, Ravannes catches it. Cadeaux throws bundle on floor and goes up, sitting on chair in the sulks.)

Ravannes

I’ve got it, I’ve got it!

(Business.)

Simon

You’re very good.

Ravannes

No, we’re not too good.

Cadeaux

No, he ain’t a bit too good.

Ravannes

We require a private room and a dinner for two at one.

Cadeaux

(Coming down, takes up bundle, etc.)

A dinner for two at one, enough for six at any time, not a dinner for six at two enough for one alas.

Simon

We’re very full, gentlemen.

Cadeaux

And we’re very empty gentlemen. Send I may never see grub if I couldn’t eat a uncooked ostrich.

Ravannes

Very well, show us to an apartment.

Simon

I’m afraid it’ll be our worst room.

Ravannes

No matter! We’ll make the best of it.

Simon

(Crosses L.)

I’ll find out. I’ll call the guv’nor.

Cadeaux

(C. falls on knees.)

The guv’nor! I can prove a halibi!

(Ravannes pushes Cadeaux, crosses to R.. Simon exits L.)

Ravannes

Not the governor of Toulon, you idiot! D’you wish to betray us? Keep up appearances as I do. Laugh, talk, joke, be gay - put on a bold front.

Cadeaux

How can I laugh, talk, joke with my ’art in the ’eel of my boot?

(Enter Simon and Dufois from Inn.)

Dufois

How d’ye do, gentlemen?

Ravannes

How d’ye do, sir?

(To Cadeaux)

Now then, speak up.

Cadeaux

How d’ye do, guv’nor? Pretty well? Like me? Tol lol, eh?

Ha, ha, ha! D’you know, I thought you were the guv’nor of the pris….

(Ravannes kicks Cadeaux.)

A prize guv’nor, you know.

Ravannes

(C.)

Come, waiter, drinks! The landlord will pledge us.

Cadeaux

He won’t get much on us.

(Ravannes threatens.)

You told me to joke!

Ravannes

And do you call that a joke?

Cadeaux

Yes, and a pretty good one too.

Dufois

(L.C.)

Look alive, Simon! Ask the gentlemen what they will have.

Simon

(L.)

What will you take, gentlemen?

Cadeaux

Anything that’s loose.

Ravannes

Shut up! Oh nips, nips, of course, the usual.

(Simon exits.)

Cadeaux

Usual, usual, of course. Vicious water for me.

(Crosses to R.)

Dufois

Vicious water?

Ravannes

My friend’s expressive way.

(Simon enters with drinks.)

Thanks.

Dufois

That’s eau de vie.

Cadeaux

That’s the odeur ve likes.

(Drinks his glass and is about to take Ravannes’s. Ravannes stops him. Cadeaux drains both glasses.)

Simon

The gentlemen require a dinner and a room.

(Crosses to L.)

Dufois

If I can find room for the gentlemen….

Cadeaux

… the gentlemen can find room for the dinner.

Dufois

No 7, Simon. Take the gentlemen’s portmanteau.

Cadeaux

No! No!

(Ravannes threatens.)

Well, he don’t look honest.

Ravannes

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Simon

(To Dufois)

They’re real gentlemen, sir.

(Going L. with portmanteau)

Dufois

I shouldn’t have thought it.

Simon

I can tell gentlemen. Can’t deceive me.

(Exit L.)

Dufois

I’m sorry, gentlemen, we are rather crowded. It will be a small room.

Ravannes

Not a word, my dear sir! We have been used to small rooms. In our last hotel, in fact, we were to a certain degree confined.

Cadeaux

But we done our time, sir. It was our first offence.

Ravannes

(Threatens)

We must be content and take things as we find them.

Cadeaux

We make a rule o’ doin’ that.

Dufois

You see, sir. The Marquis de Pontvert having dropped in with his friend the Chevalier….

Ravannes

Chevalier? Can it be my old college-chum? What name? What name?

Dufois

B…. B…. Brabazon!

Ravannes

(Flourishing stick and placing it to his side)

No, not the same, not the same!

(Crosses to R.)

Dufois

The Marquis is awaiting the arrival of a guest.

Cadeaux

(Crosses to Dufois.)

A guest….

(Business)

Can it be my old college pudden chummy? What name? What name?

Dufois

Um…. I forget the name.

Cadeaux

(Crosses to R, imitating Ravannes.)

Not the same, not the same.

(Goes up stage.)

Dufois

(L.)

A carriage went to meet him at the Cross of St Jean.

(Business of Cadeaux)

He is coming from Varrol, by the diligence. He is called Vicomte de….

Ravannes

(C.)

V. de….

Cadeaux

(R.)

V. de….

Ravannes

Hush, fool!

Dufois

V. de B….

Ravannes

V. de B. Aha!

Cadeaux

V. de B. Oho!

Dufois

B. something!

Cadeaux

B. what?

Ravannes

Be damned!

Cadeaux

Not the same, not the same!

(Business of falling over umbrella)

Simon

(From Inn)

This way, gentlemen.

(Exit.)

Dufois

Ah! What name shall I enter?

Ravannes

If you would allow us to remain incog a little longer. It’s a surprise we are preparing for - well, I should be glad if you would allow the surprise to remain incog too.

Dufois

Certainly! Pray go on, sir.

(Ravannes and Dufois bow round one another.)

Ravannes

So pleased to meet a landlord of your appearance.

(Picks Dufois’s pocket as he bows to Cadeaux.)

Not at all good. In confinement one loses one’s dexterity and gets quite out of all form.

(Cadeaux same business with Dufois, trying to pick pocket. Ravannes kicks Cadeaux.)

Come on, you fool. I’ve done him!

(Exit to Inn.)

Cadeaux

Oh, all right.

(Business of taking apron and slipper. Follows Ravannes.)

Cerise

(Entering R.U.E.)

We are to await the Marquis with you, Monsieur Dufois.

Dufois

You honor me, ladies.

Erminie

(Following Cerise on)

Ha! Ha! I quite envy the girls the fun they’re having with that old fop the Chevalier.

Cerise

Erminie, how can you be so light-hearted when you think of the fate that’s awaiting you?

Erminie

I don’t think there’s such a thing as fate or, if it’s waiting, let it wait. Fate ain’t fate till the fatality has occurred and, as it hasn’t , fate isn’t .

Cerise

And how do you maintain such strength of purpose?

Erminie

By proper training, my dear, accustoming the mind to be firm, saving all energies for the final struggle. But that’s not all.

(Crosses to Cerise.)

Cerise, do you believe in dreams?

Cerise

Some dreams, certainly.

Erminie

Well - no, I shall not tell you mine.

Cerise

Why not?

Erminie

Because you might interpret it by the rule of contraries, and it’s too beautiful to spoil.

(Cerise exits to Inn, followed by Dufois.)

No. 8 - Dream Song (Erminie)

AT MIDNIGHT ON MY PILLOW LYING,
BY MY DAILY TOIL OPPRESS’D,
TO ME WEARY, CARE-DENYING
DEEP PROFOUND THAT GIVETH REST,
WHEN A TINY BIRD ALIGHTED
ON MY LATTIC’D WINDOW-SILL,
WELCOME GUEST, THO’ UNINVITED
CHEERING BY HIS JOYOUS TRILL.
CALLING SWEETLY, HOV’RING O’ER ME,
RISE AND COME WITH ME ALONG.
SWIFT THROUGH FAIRY GLADES IT BORE ME,
REALMS OF PURE TRANSCENDENT SONG.

(Refrain)

SONG OF JOY, SONG OF CHEER,
SONG OF PROMISE SOFT AND CLEAR,
SWEET SOUNDS THAT FILL
THE TRANQUIL GROVE,
GLAD, JOYOUS TRILL
OF HOPE AND LOVE.

HOW BLISSFUL WAS THE WOND’ROUS PLEASURE?
AH! SUCH HAPPINESS WAS MINE;
THE REMEMBRANCE I WILL TREASURE
IN MY BOSOM’S INMOST SHRINE;
BUT WHAT A GRIEF WAS MINE AT FINDING,
ON AWAKING WITH A SCREAM,
EARTH’S SURROUNDINGS ALL REMINDING
ME ’TWAS BUT A HAPPY DREAM.
YET HIS JOYOUS, MELLOW SINGING
ECHOES FAINTLY, LINGERS STILL,
IN MY EARS WITH GLADNESS RINGING,
SEEMS MY HEART WITH HOPE TO THRILL.

(Refrain)

SONG OF JOY, etc.

Erminie

The delusion may prove false, but the delusion is pleasing, and till the spell is broken I’ll hope on, dream still, let the awakening come when it may.

(Crosses to left. There is an upper window, first floor, set straight to audience. Ravannes opens window in built-out portion of house, showing himself and Cadeaux at table.)

Ravannes

(Seeing Erminie)

What a pretty lady! How do you do, dear?

Cerise

What impertinence! I shall tell the Marquis.

(Exit L.)

Erminie

I’ll go and tell my Papa.

Ravannes

Give my love to your Papa!

(Exit Erminie. Business at table with Cadeaux and Ravannes)

Ravannes

(Looking at letters)

Ah, Caddy, these papers are interesting! Letters too! Vicomte de Brissac! So that’s our friend of the pine-tree!

Marquis

(Speaks outside)

No, no, Chevalier

Chevalier

(Outside)

But my dear Marquis.

Cadeaux

Stow it! Some ’uns comin’!

(Marquis and Chevalier enter R.)

Chevalier

The Princess expected! My dear friend, why did you not inform me you anticipated a visit from the distinguished Princess?

Marquis

(Crosses to bench L.)

I did not think of it.

(Sits.)

Chevalier

Not think of a princess? Had we not better return to the château? She might arrive in our absence. And who would receive? Who would be honored?

Marquis

Don’t be alarmed. Plenty of time. She’s not expected for some hours. I must await my young friend the Vicomte de Brissac.

Chevalier

But to neglect a princess! And doubtless the Vicomte knows his way.

Marquis

Not at all. He has never been here. His elder brother visited us when a boy. He was, I may tell you, my intended son-in-law, but the poor fellow died, and we have induced a younger brother to take up the contemplated alliance.

Ravannes

Ah, I understand!

Chevalier

And are the young people strangers to each other?

Marquis

Entirely! The young gentleman is strange to all of us.

Ravannes

Good! That is well to know.

Marquis

(Rising, crossing R.)

We have never seen him, in fact till the last year scarcely heard of him.

(Ravannes comes down from house with papers in hand.)

Chevalier

Whilst he was a younger son, why the deuce would you?

Marquis

And consequently I have not the least idea what he is like.

Ravannes

(Who has jumped down from window)

Permit me, my dear Marquis, to enlighten you. These papers, my credentials, will advise you that I am the Vicomte de Brissac.

Marquis

(Crosses to him.)

Welcome, son of my oldest friend. Allow me - the Chevalier de Brissac, also an old friend!

Ravannes

I should have recognised him as an old friend of yours anywhere. Chevalier, your name is well known to me!

Chevalier

But, sir, I should not have known you from Adam.

Ravannes

Probably not, sir. Adam was before my time .

Marquis

(Calls)

Erminie, come hither, child! Erminie! Your future bride is here, sir, awaiting your arrival.

(Cerise enters from Inn, Erminie follows, Ravannes kneeling and kissing Cerise’s hand.)

Ravannes

Ah, what happiness! Yours is the face I have seen in my dreams. I could love no other!

Cerise

What impudence!

Erminie

(Crosses to R. of Marquis.)

That’s all right. Then I’m sure Papa will not insist upon dooming you to life-long misery with me.

Ravannes

Why! Is not this…?

Marquis

No, sir, that is my daughter.

Ravannes

(Crosses to Erminie.)

Of course, I might have known it.

Erminie

You might, but you didn’t. That is the face of your dreams.

Chevalier

Doubtless the Vicomte disbelieves in dreams.

Ravannes

(L. of Erminie)

I do, Chevalier, thank you. That lady’s was the face of my dreams, but your countenance is the bright reality of my waking moments.

(Taking Erminie’s hand)

Erminie

You may find it a stern reality.

Marquis

You found it dull travelling alone?

Ravannes

Well, I….

(Aside)

There’s that confounded Caddy to account for.

(Aloud)

The fact is I had a companion. He’s somewhere about.

(Crash.)

I trust you will pardon my relying on your well-known hospitality. I have taken the liberty to bring a friend, the Baron Bonne. And a bonny baron Baron Bonne is….

(Ravannes to L. Enter Eugène L.U.E., down R. of Ravannes.)

Marquis

My dear Vicomte, delighted to receive any friend of yours.

Eugène

The chaise has returned without your expected guest.

Cerise

This is the Vicomte de Brissac.

Marquis

How, then, did you come?

Ravannes

We travelled on foot.

Chevalier

I should as soon think of travelling on my head.

Marquis

This, then, accounts for your appearance being wretched.

Chevalier

Not to say loathsome.

(Crosses to Ravannes.)

Erminie

Don’t wonder, Papa, if I’m not struck with the object of your choice.

Eugène

Is this the ruffian poor Erminie is doomed to wed?

(Crosses R.)

Ravannes

I’m nothing to my friend!

(Crosses C.)

Chevalier

Then pray don’t introduce him to the ladies!

Ravannes

Alas, dear friends, our sad plight is easily accounted for. We have been set upon by thieves.

Omnes

Thieves?

Ravannes

Thieves! After being set down by the diligence, we were set upon, seized, dragged into the woods, stripped of our valuables. My papers I fortunately saved.

Marquis

What an outrage!

Ravannes

Yes, we were fortunate to have escaped with our lives and the rags of our despoilers.

Cerise

How dreadful!

Erminie

How droll! I can’t help laughing at my suspicions. You should have explained at first.

(Eugène goes up R.)

Ravannes

The sight of you drove all else from my mind.

(Crosses to Erminie.)

Ravannes

THE BLISSFUL PLEASURE, I PROFESS
OF SUCH A MEETING OVERJOYS ME;
I HAVE NOT THE LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS
THE JOY I FEEL, AND THAT ANNOYS ME.
THOUGH WITH BLESSINGS BESET,
AS I ROAM THE WORLD THROUGH,
I NEVER CAN FORGET
MY FIRST MEETING WITH YOU.

(Marquis crosses to Eugène, Chevalier to Cerise.)

Erminie

I BEG THAT YOU’LL NOT TROUBLE NOW,
SOME OTHER DAY, WHEN MORE COLLECTED,
YOU MAY DECLARE, PROTEST AND VOW
WITH METAPHORS MOST UNEXPECTED.
THOUGH WITH WORRIES BESET,
IT IS EQUALLY TRUE,
I SHALL NEVER FORGET 
MY FIRST MEETING WITH YOU.

(All advance.)

Ravannes, Erminie, Marquis, Chevalier, Eugène & Cerise

WITH WHATEVER BESET,

IT IS EQUALLY TRUE, etc.

(At end of ensemble all go up to same position, Ravannes advancing and crossing down to Cadeaux extreme L., introducing him as the others again advance. Enter Cadeaux, slightly intoxicated, from Inn.)

Cadeaux

(L.)

HELLO! WHAT’S THE ROW, THE RUMPUS?

Ravannes

SILENCE!

(Aside)

Cadeaux

STOW IT! DON’T YOU THUMP US!

Ravannes

WE’VE A BOLD GAME ON TO-NIGHT.

MUM! BE STEADY!

Cadeaux

FLY! ALL RIGHT!

Ravannes

SINCE HOSPITABLY YOU EXTEND
YOUR FAVORS, I’LL PRESENT MY FRIEND,
MY FRIEND THE BARON.  YOU WILL FIND HIM QUITE AN ODDITY,
STRANGE IN HIS HABITS, IN HIS MANNER AND ADDRESS,
PRIZ’D AS A CURIO, A SALEABLE COMMODITY,
ERRATIC AND ORIGINAL, YOU SEE.

Omnes

YES! YES!

(Ravannes crosses back to C. position as before, singing.)

Ravannes

MY FRIEND THE BARON’S QUITE A FEAST

OF PHRASE AND CUSTOMS OF THE EAST

ACQUIRED THE ARAB TRIBES AMONG,
EXPRESSIVE, WHAT ONE MIGHT CALL STRONG.

Omnes

HIS FRIEND THE BARON, etc.

(All repeat bowing. Cadeaux at end to symphony crosses C., backs and, bowing, runs against Chevalier.)

Cadeaux

(C.)

I’M PROUD TO MEET YER. HOW D’YE DO?

OLD COCKALORUM, HOW ARE YOU?

Chevalier

COCKALORUM? COCKALORUM?

Cerise

SOMEWHAT VULGAR, SCARCE DECORUM.

Ravannes

MY FRIEND THE BARON’S QUITE A FEAST, etc.

Omnes

HIS FRIEND THE BARON, etc.

(Dance at end.)

Cadeaux

I’m werry pleased to scrape all your inquaintinces, and I proposes as we all wets our whistles.

(Crossing right)

Omnes

Wet our whistles?

(Eugène and Erminie go up and get over to Cerise, L.C.)

Ravannes

Arabic, pure Arabic!

(Crosses to Cadeaux.)

I’ll strangle you if you’re not quiet!

Cadeaux

Don’t! It’s my first offence!

Ravannes

A wonderful man, Chevalier.

(Turning from Cadeaux to Chevalier)

Chevalier

(Crossing Ravannes to Cadeaux)

An uncommon man, a study. I’m interested.

(Offers snuff box.)

Will you honor me?

Cadeaux

(Taking it and pocketing it)

Like a bird, sir, like a bird!

Marquis

Not a jail bird, I trust.

Cadeaux

No, I never was in trouble afore. It’s my first….

Ravannes

(Threatening Cadeaux)

Silence, fool!

(Crossing to C.)

My friend has been in the East too long, where he has been Ambassador at the Court of Mahmoud. It is a custom there to constantly exchange snuff boxes. Hence the expression “up to snuff”.

Chevalier

Yes, but this is scarcely an exchange.

Ravannes

No, of course not. That’s the Baron’s little eccentricity.

Erminie

(L.C.)

I believe all the wise men come from the East, don’t they, Baron?

Cadeaux

(R.)

Well, them as is there knows a thing or two. What they don’t know is hardly worth learning. If it is, blow me.

Omnes

Blow me?

Chevalier

Your friend the Baron’s language is rather obscure. I scarcely follow him.

Ravannes

It is peculiar, but I understand him, and he perfectly understands me.

(Crosses and kicks Cadeaux.)

Marquis

Eugène, will you kindly precede us and suggest such extra preparations as you deem necessary?

Eugène

(L.)

Certainly! Cerise, will you come?

(Going up C.)

Cerise

Yes, brother. How I pity him!

(Following up)

Erminie

(L.C.)

I’ll walk on too.

Marquis

(L.)

No, no! The Vicomte will doubtless have much to say to you.

Ravannes

Yes, I’m full of mind messages, regards from my sister, kindest love from my mother.

(Ravannes, who has remained next to Cadeaux threatening in dumb show, again crosses to C.)

Marquis

(R.)

Your mother? She has been dead these six years!

Ravannes

(C.L. of Chevalier)

Yes, about six years.

Cadeaux

(R.)

Six years and a week come Michelmas.

(Aside)

I got him out of that!

Ravannes

My mother! I was alluding to the mother of the Baron.

Cadeaux

Yes, he allus calls her Ma.

Erminie

Has the Baron a mother, then?

Cadeaux

Yes, poor dear, I was her first offence.

Chevalier

I should like to meet a woman of such mark.

Cadeaux

A mole under the left ear.

Marquis

(To Ravannes)

How is your worthy father?

Cadeaux

He’s all right.

Ravannes

Never better. You should have seen him yesterday setting out for the hunt.

Marquis

Good gracious! I never thought he would leave his room again. Why, Chevalier, he’s been confined for seven years!

Cadeaux

Scuse me! They couldn’t give it ’im for a fust offence.

(Business with knife)

Ravannes

Exactly! And is likely to be. I said you should have seen my father at the window when we were setting out for the hunt with the mother of the Baron.

Chevalier

Does the dear lady hunt?

Cadeaux

No, she don’t ’unt. She used to ’unt with Aunt, but Aunt ain’t in the ’unt now. Mother don’t ’unt either. We was at the ’unt, and Mother was in the window with Father, and that’s how it was.

(Omnes enter. Villagers, swells, flower-girls, et al enter R. from fair.)

Marquis

I am pleased, my friends, you are here. It enables me to present to you the future husband of your favorite Erminie.

Omnes

Hurrah!

(Cadeaux crosses C. during speech and gets presented in the place of Ravannes.)

Marquis

Come, let us go on to the château!

(Business in mise en scène books)

Chorus

AWAY TO THE CHÂTEAU!  AWAY TO THE THRONG,
WHERE BRIDEGROOM AND BRIDE WILL BE PLIGHTED ERE LONG,
WHERE WELCOME SHALL MEET THEM,
WHERE CHEERING SHALL GREET THEM,
WHERE FRIENDS SHALL ENTREAT THEM,
ALL BLESSINGS IN SONG.

Erminie

MARRIAGE IS A HOLY UNION,
ANGEL GUIDED FROM ABOVE.
MARRIAGE SHOULD BE SWEET COMMUNION,
GOVERN’D BY THE GOD OF LOVE.

Cerise

THOUGH THERE MAY BE OCEANS ROLLING
STORMILY BETWEEN TWO LIVES,
SOME REMEMBERED WORD CONTROLLING
OFTEN HOPE OF LOVE REVIVES.

Eugène

WHEN THE FATES ARE BLACK AS RAVEN,
WHEN THE SUN OF HOPE HAS SET,
OFT THE STORM-TOSSED GAIN A HAVEN.
WHY NOT LOVE?  IT MAY BE YET.

Marquis

LOVE PREVAILS IN EV’RY FASHION,
LOVE THE TYRANT MAY CONTROL,
LOVE REMAINS THE RULING PASSION,
LOVE PREDOMINATES THE SOUL.

Omnes

MARRIAGE IS A HAPPY UNION, etc.
HARK, THE SOLDIERS HERE AGAIN RETURN!
HARK, WHAT MAY IT MEAN WE SOON SHALL LEARN!

(Eugène and Cerise exeunt as soldiers enter.)

Delaunay & Soldiers

ALL FOR GLORY THE SOLDIERS’ LIFE,
FROM THE CONFLICT SCORNING E’ER TO FLEE.
THE HERO’S FAME, HIS AIM IN STRIFE,
IN LOVE, IN WAR THE VICTOR HE!

Delaunay

BE NOT ALARMED, BE NOT ALARMED!
WE’RE OF TWO THIEVES IN CHASE,
FROM PRISON ’SCAPED, FROM PRISON ’SCAPED,
WE’VE TRACKED THEM TO THIS PLACE.

Marquis

THIEVES?  THEN THEY’RE THE SAME, DEPEND,
WHO STOPPED AND ROBBED MY NOBLE FRIEND
AND HIS COMPANION.  SEE THEIR PLIGHT!

Erminie

POOR THINGS, NO DOUBT PAPA IS RIGHT!

’TWAS THEY MOLESTED, RIFLED, MOBBED,

DESPOILED, ILL-TREATED, BEAT AND ROBBED.

Delaunay

THEY ARE DOUBTLESS THE MEN.

SHOULD YOU KNOW THEM AGAIN?

Ravannes

OH YES, OH YES, THE ONE IS A GENTLEMAN QUITE.

Delaunay

HE’S THE WORSE OF THE TWO.

Cadeaux

QUITE SO, THAT’S RIGHT.

Ernest

(Entering)

THANK FATE AT LENGTH I’VE FOUND MY WAY.

IS THIS THE LION D’OR, I PRAY?

Ravannes

QUICK, SERGEANT, SEIZE THE VILLAIN, PRAY!

Cadeaux

BE CAREFUL HE DON’T GET AWAY!

Ernest

NO, NO, BELIEVE ME!

Marquis

SEIZE THE THIEF!

Ravannes & Cadeaux

YES, SEIZE THE THIEF!

Chorus

SEIZE HIM, SEIZE HIM, BIND THE THIEF,
MAKE SECURE THE ROBBER CHIEF.
SEIZE HIM, SEIZE HIM, BIND THE THIEF,
MAKE SECURE THE ROBBER CHIEF.

Marquis

WITH THAT VILE WRETCH TO GAOL BE GONE,

AND TO THE CHÂTEAU NOW LEAD ON.

Chorus

AWAY, AWAY, AWAY, AWAY, AWAY TO THE CHÂTEAU.

Principals & Chorus

AWAY TO THE CHÂTEAU, etc.

CURTAIN

ACT II

Scene: Grand Salon in Château de Pontvert, with waiting maids and lackeys.

Female Chorus

HERE ON LORD AND LADY WAITING,
COURT GALLANTS AND NOBLES ALL, 
EV’RY ONE IMPORTUNATING
TO AND FRO, AT BECK AND CALL.

(Entrance of Marie, R3)

Marie

NO INTERMISSION,
GIVE EXHIBITION,
WHAT GOOD TUITION,
THOUGH HURRIED HAS BROUGHT:
AND COMPENSATIONS,
REMUNERATIONS,
PAY FOR THE PATIENCE
WITH WHICH YOU’VE BEEN TAUGHT.

Contraltos

MAY WE TAKE YOUR HAT, YOUR STICK, SIR?
BRUSH YOUR CLOTHES, SIR, TIE YOUR SHOES?
YOU WILL FIND WE’RE VERY QUICK, SIR,
NOT A MOMENT DO WE LOSE.

Female Chorus

MAY WE START TO FETCH OR CARRY,
STITCH OR FASTEN, TIE AND LACE,
EVERY TOILET NECESSARY,
POWDER PUFF FOR ARMS OR FACE?
HERE ON LORD AND LADY WAITING, etc.

Marie

THE SIMPLE MAID
FROM VILLAGE GREEN,
UNUSED TO RICH ATTIRE
IS NOT AFRAID
OF SILKEN SHEEN;
TO CONQUEST SHE’LL ASPIRE.
HER FINGERS DEFT
ARE NEVER SLOW
TO FASHION A SUCCESS
FROM FINEST WEFT. 
WHO DOES NOT KNOW
A WOMAN’S FORTE IS DRESS?

(Refrain)

YES, THOUGH FASHION OFTEN RANGES,
WE ARE EQUAL TO ITS CHANGES,
THOUGH THE WAIST PREVAILING’S HIGH UP,
OR THE SKIRT ACCEPTED SHORT,
ALTER BONNET, CAP OR HEAD-DRESS.
TUCK OR LACE CONFINE, OR SPREAD DRESS,
BRANCHING PULL BACK, PUFF OR TIE UP,
AND IMPROVING QUICK AS THOUGHT.

ON FLOUNCE OR TRAIN
THE FEMALE MIND
FROM BABYHOOD IS BENT;
HER INFANT BRAIN
BE SURE YOU’LL FIND
ON DREAMING DOLLS INTENT.
A WOMAN’S WILL
TO CHANGE LESS APT
THAN FASHION’S WAYWARDNESS,
BUT DEXTROUS SKILL
WILL SOON ADAPT
ITSELF TO CHANGE OF DRESS.

(Refrain)

YES, THOUGH FASHION, etc.

(Entrance of Javotte)

Javotte

Come now, you extras, bustle about. Remember that you’re not engaged to amuse yourself but to attend to the guests.

No 11a - Exit (Female Chorus)

HERE ON LORD AND LADY WAITING, etc.

Simon

(Entering R.C.)

Hello, hello there.

Omnes

Oh, it’s only Simon.

Marie

I declare if I didn’t think it was someone of importance.

Simon

(C.)

“Only Simon.” I like that! It’s only your astounding vanity prevents you observing I am a person of importance. It’s not often the Pontvert livery is distended by a figure like mine.

Marie

No! Such figures as yours are rare.

(Crosses down to R.)

Omnes

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Javotte

I can’t see that there’s anything to laugh at. His form may be formidable, but it’s uniformly symmetrical.

Simon

And no padding. That’s right, Javotte, stick up for your future lord and master.

Javotte

My lord and master?

Simon

Haven’t you promised to …?

Javotte

To marry you. But, if I promise to obey, it won’t be to obey always. You’re never satisfied, Simon, with what’s done for you.

Simon

I’m satisfied that you’ll do for me. Oh, Javotte, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world - the dresses, the flowers, the lights, to say nothing of the eating and drinking. It’s too much.

Marie

Simon never forgets the eating and drinking.

(Omnes laugh.)

Javotte

Some of the guests seem to think of it too.

Simon

That Baron doesn’t think about it, he does it right off. Twelve glasses of Benedictine already, to say nothing of two he spilt into the lap of the old Princess.

(Omnes laugh.)

Javotte

Did he? Didn’t she storm at him?

Simon

No, she’s a bit sweet on him and smiled at his confusion.

Javotte

He must have been in a state.

Simon

No, she was in a state, but he scraped it up with a spoon, and says, “It’ll dry straight. It’s my first offence.”

(Omnes laugh.)

Marie

Come, girls, let’s attend and watch the fun.

(Girls exeunt C.)

Javotte

You didn’t expect anything so gorgeous as this, did you, Simon?

Simon

Well, not quite. The lights and glitter are heavenly, but I prefer the half-light of the retiring-rooms. There’s a sentimental something - murmurs and whisperings.

Javotte

And taking of hands.

Simon

Yes, that’s it.

(Takes her hand.)

Javotte

And putting arms round waists.

(Business)

And kissing sometimes.

(Business)

Simon

Yes, often.

(Laughter off R. & L.)

Javotte

Come to the still room for another lesson!

(Exit R.)

Simon

Sponge or ice-cake?

(Exit L. Enter Eugène and Cerise, L.U.E.)

Eugène

(R.C.)

The Marquis has observed and questioned me on my dejected manner. I must avoid his presence.

Cerise

(L.C.)

Then he will ask for you. Try, brother, to throw off your depression. Let the surrounding festivities arouse you!

Eugène

How can I, Cerise, when I think that my dear Erminie is to be consigned to the care of that loud, bombastic Vicomte? I can’t help the feeling that there is a false ring about his gentility.

Cerise

It seems impossible that he can be the brother of our dear friend Ernest.

Eugène

It is almost past belief, while the vulgar drolleries of the friend the Baron are too genuine to be assumed. I can’t resist a strong suspicion….

(They promenade down to L. door.)

Cerise

Of what, Eugène?

Eugène

I can scarcely say. You shall know when my surmises take a more definite shape.

Cerise

Be sure you let them conjure up forms of brighter promise.

Eugène

I will endeavor, sister.

(Cerise exits L.)

DARKEST THE HOUR ERE LIGHT OF DAWN BEAMETH,
DEEPEST THE GLOOM ERE THE STORM CLOUDS DIVIDE,
BE THAT MY FAITH.  IN THE ADAGE THERE SEEMETH
HOPE, TO BE CHERISHED, WHATE’ER MAY BETIDE.
VAIN, VAIN THE DREAM, MY LOVED ONE CAN NEVER
MINE BE; AS VAIN IS THE ONCE-PLIGHTED VOW.
WHAT POW’R CAN CHANGE THE DOOM WE MUST SEVER.
AH, COULD THE FUTURE LOOK BLACKER THAN NOW?
DARKEST THE HOUR, etc.

HOW SHALL I CHEER MY HEART’S SAD REPINING?
WHERE SEEK THE TRUST IN MY BOSOM SHOULD DWELL?
WHERE WILL APPEAR THE CLOUD’S SILVER LINING?
WHENCE COME THE RADIANCE MY GRIEF TO DISPEL?
LIFE’S LIGHT HAS GONE; MY PATHWAY IS LONELY,
DREARY!  THE STAR OF MY LIFE’S BRIGHTNESS GONE,
SET NE’ER TO RISE.  ’T WOULD SEEM MY HOPE ONLY
RESTS IN THE THOUGHT - THE BELIEF THERE IS NONE.
DARKEST THE HOUR, etc.

(Eugène L., Marquis and Chevalier enter C. opening.)

Marquis

We took three thousand prisoners and…. Alone, Eugène? I won’t have you brooding alone in corners. Don’t let the loss of fortune bring morbid ideas that you are looked down upon. Go, find a partner and enjoy yourself.

(Eugène exits L.)

I like to see the young folks cheerful.

Chevalier

I endeavor to be cheerful myself though I am old - that is older than I was when younger than I am. Everything is par excellence in Pontvert - worthy of the salons of Paris. The only blot to my mind is that fellow we picked up at the inn.

Marquis

Yes, I am forced unwillingly to admit that I have not been favorably impressed. There is a loudness, an unwarranted amount of….

Chevalier

Confidence, confidence is the failing of the rising generation.

(Crosses L.)

Marquis

I should have called it by a less charitable name.

(Crosses R.)

The Baron to them is a revelation. They’ve never seen anything like him before.

Chevalier

I trust they never may again.

(Erminie, Ravannes, Delaunay, Eugène and guests, lacqueys and maids enter.)

Chorus

JOY ATTEND ON ERMINIE,
HERS BE EVERY EARTHLY BLISS,
MAY HER DIREST SORROW BE
OFT RETURNING DAYS LIKE THIS.
LET OUR POOREST WISHES BE
JOY ATTEND ON ERMINIE.

Erminie

THANKS, DEAR FRIENDS, MY THANKS RECEIVE,
WITH GOOD WISHES YOU CONFUSE,
THAT I’M GRATEFUL, PRAY BELIEVE,
BUT AT LOSS WHAT WORDS TO USE,
I CONFESS - TO EXPRESS
HOW YOUR WISHES MY HEART TOUCH,
BUT I THANK YOU.  THANKS SO MUCH.

Chorus

JOY ATTEND ON ERMINIE, etc.

Erminie

Thank you very much, dear friends, for your kind wishes, but I feel you are making a little too much of me.

Delaunay

No, no, Mademoiselle. We can never do you justice.

Chevalier

Where is the Princess? The illustrious lady will be ennuyé.

(Exit Chevalier C. and L.)

Delaunay

I’m afraid we strangers don’t receive too many of your favors.

Erminie

Pray don’t impeach my impartiality, Captain.

Eugène

You really must not be too hard upon our fair debutante. She is not accustomed to crowds.

Marquis

(Coming down C. to Erminie)

You forget, Eugène, our guests are not accustomed to debutantes like Erminie.

(Marquis goes up and off C., guests following him.)

Delaunay

Oh, Mam’selle, may I put my name down for a dance?

Eugène

(Crosses to Erminie.)

I consider it my duty to defend Mam’selle Erminie from your onslaught.

(Eugène and Erminie go off C.)

Delaunay

Hang it all, where? The army is not to be slighted.

Javotte

(Entering R.)

Did Monsieur require anything? I hope the waiters are attentive, that Monsieur is not neglected.

Delaunay

Oh no, no!

Javotte

If I can get Monsieur anything?

Delaunay

Not if you’re to leave me to fetch it. You’re a deuced pretty girl!

Javotte

(Crosses L. of Delaunay.)

Ah, that’s Monsieur’s fun. He doesn’t mean it!

Delaunay

Indeed I do , little one. When I look into your eyes I have but one desire - and that is….

Simon

(Entering L. D.)

Ice or sponge-cake?

(Delaunay R., Simon C., Javotte L.)

Delaunay

No, fellow, no.

Marie

(Entering R. D.)

Is there anything I can do for Monsieur?

Maids

(Enter R. D. and C. D.)

Anything for Monsieur le Capitaine?

Delaunay

Come along, my dears, and I’ll see.

(Crosses to R.D.)

Lacqueys

(Enter R.D.)

Anything for Monsieur?

Delaunay

No, no, hang it, no!

(Delaunay runs off C.D., lacqueys and maids following.)

Javotte

Now they’ve taken him away. That’s your meddling!

Simon

(Crosses R.)

And a good job too, traitress!

Javotte

We’re not accustomed to bad language in the Château Pontvert.

Simon

Beware, Javotte! Soldiers are dangerous. Think of my faithful heart, think of me.

(Laughs outside. Erminie and Eugène enter L.)

Ice or sponge-cake?

Javotte

Ice or sponge-cake?

(Simon crosses and exits L., Javotte following)

Eugène

(R. of Erminie)

Your confiding trustfulness must be contagious. In spite of myself I feel hopeful, though I fail to see whence aid can come.

Erminie

Time works wonders. It may be weeks before I am formally betrothed to de Brissac, and marvels may happen ere then.

Eugène

The dream is blissful, Erminie, but the awakening…. Is it wise to be living in a fool’s paradise?

Erminie

No paradise was ever made for fools. Wise men accept Elysium, fools hesitate and lose it.

Eugène

Where do you acquire such comforting philosophy?

Erminie

From old ballads composed by grey-bearded cynics. I have one to suit your case.

No. 14 - Ballad ‘The Sighing Swain’ (Erminie)

A LOVER IN HIS MIRROR GAZED
WITH VISAGE WAN AND GLARE HALF-DAZED,
TO SEE IF THINNER HE HAD GROWN
WITH LOVE; TO HOPE, ALAS, UNKNOWN;
HE BRUSHED HIS UNKEMPT LOCKS ASIDE
WITH CARELESS HASTE, AND VIEWED WITH PRIDE
AND MORBID JOY THE LINES OF CARE
THAT BLIGHTED DREAMS HAD PLANTED THERE;
WITH SIGH AND GROAN HIS BOSOM HEAVES,
DESPONDING PLAINT ALONE RELIEVES.
AH ME!  AH WOE!
THE DEEP-DRAWN SIGH,
ALACK!  HEIGHO!
OH, LOVE, I DIE,
HEIGHO!  AH WOE!

DEPRESSED, HIS SPIRITS LOWER SINK
AS WANDERING NEAR THE LAKELET’S BRINK,
AND IN ITS SURFACE - GAZING ON.
ONCE MORE HIS VISAGE WOE-BEGONE,
HE BRUSHED AWAY THE SILENT TEAR,
BUT NE’ER LOOKED UP TO SEE, QUITE NEAR,
THE GODDESS, HOPE, WITH SWEET DESIRE
TO BID THE HAPLESS SWAIN ASPIRE;
HE GROANED AND MOANED, NOR LOOKED AROUND,
BUT DROOPING O’ER, FELL IN AND DROWNED.
AH ME!  AH WOE!  etc. 

Eugène

I reproach myself for smiling at your banter, for I know it is the assumed gaiety of a true heart, striving to beguile its fears.

(Erminie and Eugène cross and wonder off L. D. Cerise enters C., followed by swells.)

Cerise

I am very sorry, but I have promised the Vicomte.

First Guest

And after?

Cerise

I have promised the Baron.

Second Guest

And the following?

Cerise

Engaged.

Third Guest

And the next?

Cerise

Engaged.

(Laughter without, and Princess’s voice heard.)

Omnes

What’s that?

Cerise

The Princess’s voice.

(Cerise and followers group R.)

Omnes

The Princess!

Princess

(Without)

Oh, Baron, I vow you must not.

(Princess laughs outside.)

Javotte

(Enters L.C.)

Don’t be alarmed. It’s only the Baron amusing the Princess de Gramponeur with his tricks. She’s in fits of laughter.

(Exeunt Javotte, preceded by guests. Princess enters L.C. on Cadeaux’s arm.)

Princess

I declare you are so entertaining, so nice.

Cadeaux

(L.C.)

Ah, your Highness, if the little dicky-birds had only whispered about you in the times that’s parst. Send I may never. Yer does me proud and the reciprocity as you shows tords me’s mutual, that’s a certainty.

Princess

(R. of Cadeaux)

How nice! Such unique phraseology! How you do remind me of my dear defunct Gramponeur!

Cadeaux

What? Your old man, eh? Ah, who knows? It was allus thought I was changed at birth.

(Goes L.)

Princess

How nice! How deliciously romantic! You may have been kidnapped, perhaps stolen.

Cadeaux

(L. C.)

I ain’t. I’m innocent. I can prove a halibi.

(Falling on his knees.)

Omnes

Ha! Ha! Ha! Bravo!

(Marquis and Chevalier enter L.D.)

Chevalier

Ah, here is the dear Princess.

Princess

Ha! Ha! Oh, Marquis, I do declare he’ll be the death of me.

Cadeaux

What a turn she guv me. Ravvy’ll finish me. I knows he will.

Chevalier

(Crosses to Princess.)

I have been telling the Marquis I know I can prevail upon you to prolong your visit.

(Benedict (tall) enters L. D., drops into L. corner. Salver with bottle of Benedictine, two liqueur glasses. Cadeaux sees and at once helps himself to a glass.)

Princess

Impossible, Chevalier.

Marquis

Oh, then I must get the Baron to persuade you to remain another week.

(Marquis crosses to Princess.)

Princess

How nice!

Chevalier

Where is the fascination? I fail to see any charm in the fellow myself.

Princess

How could you not appreciate the dear Baron?

Chevalier

Confound the Baron!

(Goes up in a temper.)

Cadeaux

(Who has followed Marquis on again, helping himself to wine - to Benedict)

I told you for to stick to me in every room, Benedict, and you didn’t stuck.

Princess

His tricks are wonderful, Marquis!

Omnes

Oh, wonderful!

Princess

And his sleight of hand is marvellous!

Omnes

Most marvellous!

Princess

He charmed a diamond bracelet from my very wrist and declares I shall find it in my jewel-case on my return to Paris, and when a gold necklace and a purse of money were placed under a handkerchief he changed them at a word into a pair of old gloves and a bunch of grapes.

Omnes

Wonderful!

(Chevalier again advances R. of Cadeaux, by Princess.)

Chevalier

Not at all! With a little practice I….

Marquis

Yo! Ha! Ha! I’m glad we’ve found you a lion, ladies!

Princess

Ah, but he’s not an ordinary lion.

Chevalier

No, a stuffed lion!

(Goes up.)

Princess

He does so remind me of my poor dear Gramponeur - so original, so daring. Marquis, would you believe it, we’ve positively been romping?

Marquis

No! No! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Cadeaux, who has longingly watched Benedict, again fills up glass.)

Cadeaux

(Taking glass of Benedictine off salver)

Yr realth ter ryal lioness, and may the skin of a gooseberry be allus big enough for a humbrella for hall yer hennimies.

(Omnes laugh.)

Marquis

The sentiment is certainly sensible.

(Goes up.)

Cadeaux

Won’t yer ryness have wee nippee?

Princess

Wee nippee? How nice!

Cadeaux

No, of course not. Such drops as these ’ud be no good to a real tip-topper like you.

Chevalier

(L. of Princess)

Tip-topper?

Omnes

Tip-topper?

Princess

What is a … tip-topper?

Chevalier

Don’t ask, my dear Princess. It may be a shock to your refinement.

Princess

No, the dear Baron.

Chevalier

Damn the Baron!

(Chevalier goes up, furious, but meets and exits with Cerise C. Delaunay exits C.)

Cadeaux

(To Princess)

Yer ’ealth ter ’ighness, and may your father’s daughter allus have a loving smile for my uncle’s nevy.

Princess

How he does remind me of my poor dear Gramponeur!

(Exit Benedict L.)

Cadeaux

(Crosses to Princess)

Ah, how different things might a bin if they wasn’t as they is. But who knows what sentence the old book destiny will parse on us yet? I believe in omens, leaven myself to the sweet little chirrups as sit up aloft and allus goes on what the dicky-birds say.

(Flunky with salver exits.)

I’M NOT TOO FREE AN AGENT LIKE ALL THE REST OF YOU,

THERE’S THEM AS LOOK ARTER MY FATE,
I ARKS ’EM FOR ADVICE WHEN I’VE ANYTHING TO DO,
THEIR LONGING FOR MY WELFARE’S VERY GREAT.
WHENEVER I WISH TO STEAL FROM THE NIGHT
A FEW HOURS FOR TO USE IN THE DAY,
AFORE THAT I KNOWS I’M A DOIN’ WHAT’S RIGHT,
I SEES WHAT THE DICKY-BIRDS SAY.

(Refrain)

CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP,
IN THE SHRILLEST TONE--
CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP,
IN A TONGUE OF THEIR OWN.
WHAT THEIR WARBLES AND TWITTERS CONVEY,
TAKING THEIR STUDY AND THOUGHT
ERE THE MIND CAN BE BROUGHT
TO DEFINE WHAT THE DICKY-BIRDS SAY.
CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP.

WHEN BROUGHT BEFORE HIS BEAKSHIP MY EVIDENCE TO GIVE,

I’M ALLUS IN A DREADFUL STATE

FOR FEAR I’LL HAVE TO GO TO A SETTLEMENT TO LIVE,
A PENAL ONE IS SURE TO BE MY FATE.
NOW, JURIES AIN’T VERY WELL UP TO THEIR JOB,
THEY FOR FEAR OF CONFINEMENT ALL DAY
THE VERDICT AGREE ON BY SPINNIN’ A BOB;
AT LEAST SO THE DICKY-BIRDS SAY.

(Refrain)

CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, etc.

(Ravannes, Marquis, Cerise, Chevalier and Benedict re-enter. Ravannes meets Cadeaux, leaves ladies.)

Ravannes

(Crosses to Cadeaux.)

Be careful, Caddy. Pull yourself together and don’t drink any more liqueur.

Cadeaux

Look here, Ravvy, I’ve swiped two souvenir silver spoons.

(Ravannes takes spoon and threatens.)

Cadeaux

(On his knees)

No, I can prove a halibi.

Omnes

Ha! Ha! Ha! How clever!

(Delaunay is R. with Cerise. It is useless to mark the position in this scene as they are constantly changing, but they may easily be followed, all crosses being marked.)

Ravannes

(Crosses to Princess.)

He positively deceives me , and I’m accustomed to him.

Cerise

(R.C.)

Get him to perform some more tricks.

(Benedict again L.)

Ravannes

(L.C.)

My noble and illustrious friend Baron Bonny will do his best to please you all.

Cadeaux

Of course. I shall be only too pleased to best you all.

(Ravannes threatens.)

Ho! Ho! Ah, Benedict, I will again. It’s lovely, Benedict. Yer ’ealth ter ryal lioness, and may you long live to reccommember the day when yer uncle was a doin’ the nobby.

(Ravannes stops his drinking, knocks wine on floor, comes round L. of Cadeaux, meets Benedict.)

Chevalier

(L. of Princess)

Doing the nobby? Where is the sense of such an expression? What is …?

Princess

Chevalier, don’t interrupt the Baron.

Chevalier

Damn the Baron!

(Goes up again annoyed, goes round and falls down R. of Princess. Exit Benedict.)

Ravannes

(To Benedict)

Get out! After the gavotte my noble friend will show you his wonderful card-tricks.

(Crosses in front to Cerise.)

Cadeaux

The merry little hanky-panky fakes.

Cerise

(R.)

Hanky-panky? What does it mean?

Ravannes

(R.C.)

Pure Arabic! The Baron has explored the hitherto unknown portions of street Arabia and lived there as a sheik for several years.

Cadeaux

That’s where I learnt to write the oracle.

Marquis

(At back, to Delaunay, as if discussing battle)

The enemy were on our right flank…..

Princess

(To Chevalier, who has come on from R.)

Why will you persist in interrupting the Baron?

Chevalier

(R.C.)

Oh, damn the Baron!

(Goes up and round Cadeaux, crosses to Princess.)

Princess

Poor dear Gramponeur used to speak Arabic, and I never could understand a word. Oh, he is so like…. You little humming bird!

Cadeaux

You little grasshopper!

(Marquis and Delaunay down L.)

Ravannes

The Baron speaks the language like a native.

Cadeaux

Yes, comes as natural to me as thieving.

Omnes

As what?

Ravannes

As thieving to a monkey. My honored friend had not finished his sentence.

(Chevalier advances L. of Princess.)

Cadeaux

No, not by two years and….

(Ravannes kicks him.)

Oh!

Princess

Chevalier, why will you interrupt the Baron?

Marquis

Just at that moment the Marshall said….

Chevalier

Damn the Baron! Ah, yes, to be sure. May I have the pleasure?

Princess

I have promised the Baron.

Chevalier

Oh, damn that Baron!

(Exit C.)

(Cadeaux crosses, leading up Princess for dance. Others go to places.)

JOIN IN PLEASURE, DANCE A MEASURE,
FONDLY TREASURE HOURS SO BRIGHT.
PRIM SEDATELY, NOT TOO STATELY,
COLDNESS GREATLY MARS DELIGHT.
LIGHTLY STEP WITH GRACEFUL BEARING,
SUITABLE PRECISION SHOW,
FINISH COMES OF LONG PREPARING,
VIS-À-VIS AND DOS-À-DOS.

(Refrain)

FAIREST BELLE WITH BRAVEST BEAU,
STATELY BUT WITH HEARTS A-GLOW.
IN THRALL SUBLIME BUT MEASURED TIME,
MATED ALL ELATED GO!

STEPPING SPRIGHTLY, LAUGHING LIGHTLY,
NOISY CHATTER FILLS THE THRONG,
ANIMATION CLOAKS FLIRTATION,
FESTIVE JOYS WE’LL STILL PROLONG.
WHEN THE DIN OF MUSIC’S LOUDEST
SIGHING SWAINS MAY DARE THEIR FATE,
PLEAD WITH MEEKEST, DARE THE PROUDEST
IN THE MAZY TÊTE-À-TÊTE.

(Refrain)

FAIREST BELLS, etc.

(Principals exeunt C., maids R. and L. Enter Simon R.D., Eugène entering with Marquis L.D.)

Simon

The Sergeant, Monsieur le Marquis.

(Simon exits R. Marquis and Ravannes C., Sergeant R.)

Marquis

(R.C.)

What is your mission, Sargeant?

Sergeant

I am from Monsieur le Maire.

Eugène

(C.)

The Maire?

Sergeant

(R.)

He has been with our prisoner and sends a letter for Monsieur le Marquis. This, with a written statement of the prisoner, is for the Captain.

Marquis

(R.C.)

Read it, Eugène.

(Eugène takes note.)

Ravannes

(L.)

Strewth, the situation is growing critical. If that statement reaches Delaunay, we’re lost.

(Crosses straight over to Sergeant.)

If you’ll allow me, I shall be delighted to bear the missive to your Captain.

Sergeant

I was to deliver them into his own hands.

(Refusing to give papers)

Marquis

Remain, Sergeant. Your Officer shall be found.

Eugène

(C. reads)

“I have fixed to-morrow for the examination of the prisoner if convenient for you to be present with the Vicomte and his friend.”

Marquis

To-morrow? That is impossible.

Erminie

(L.C.)

Why, Papa?

Marquis

The notaries will be here for the signing of your betrothal contract.

Eugène

(L.)

To-morrow! Alas, all is over!

Erminie

(Crosses to Marquis.)

Why to-morrow, Papa? What is the object of this haste? Are you so anxious to be rid of me?

Eugène

(L. to Erminie)

Oh, consider how dull will be your existence without the happy face that was its only brightness.

Marquis

I know it, Eugène. I am a rough old soldier, but I have a father’s heart and shall feel the parting keenly.

Ravannes

Spare us, Sir, spare us your parental pangs.

(Exit C.)

Erminie

Why not postpone - a month, a week?

(Ravannes goes up and off.)

Marquis

No, no, to-morrow our friends will be here. I must not be selfish. I will consider only your happiness.

Erminie

I don’t want my happiness considered.

Marquis

Ah, your love for your old father prompts that avowal. But I can bear it, my darling. I have had experience in suffering - your poor, dear mother’s loss, which you can scarce recall.

Erminie

Ah, if I had now her gentle guidance and support. My memories, if faint, are sweet. I fancy I can see her tender face and hear her low, sweet voice in the dear old lullaby of my childhood days.

No. 17 - Lullaby (Erminie)

DEAR MOTHER, IN DREAMS I SEE HER,
WITH LOV’D FACE SWEET AND CALM,
AND HEAR HER VOICE WITH LOVE REJOICE
WHEN NESTLING ON HER ARM.
I THINK HOW SHE SOFTLY PRESS’D ME,
OF THE TEARS IN EACH GLIST’NING EYE
AS HER WATCH SHE’D KEEP, WHEN SHE ROCK’D TO SLEEP
HER CHILD WITH THIS LULLABY.
BYE, BYE, BYE, BYE, BYE.

(Refrain)

BYE, BYE, DROWSINESS O’ERTAKING,
PRETTY LITTLE EYE-LIDS SLEEP,
BYE, BYE, WATCHING TILL THOU’RT WAKING,
DARLING BE THY SLUMBER DEEP.

AH, E’EN WHEN HER LIFE WAS EBBING
HER WORDS WERE ALL OF ME,
MY FUTURE YEARS WERE ALL HER FEARS
HER FATE ’TWAS NOT TO SEE.
MY FATHER, I HEAR YOU WEEPING,
AS IN SORROW YOU’RE STANDING NIGH;
AND MY MOTHER’S PLAINT, IN HER ACCENTS FAINT,
WAS THIS TENDER, SWEET LULLABY.
BYE, BYE, BYE, BYE, BYE.

(Refrain)

BYE, BYE, etc.

Marquis

(Crosses R.)

Enough, Erminie, of these mournful recollections.

(Going up)

Come, my friend, you are here for enjoyment. Eugène, take the Sergeant and endeavor to find Delaunay.

(Exit C. Omnes exeunt except Eugène, Erminie and Sergeant C. Ravannes enters from L., going down R.C.)

Eugène

Erminie, even your courage must falter beneath this blow.

Erminie

Nearly. Return presently. I’m going to make an appeal to the Vicomte, tell him of our love, and beg him to relinquish his claim.

(Sergeant crosses over from R.)

Eugène

There is little hope in that. Come, Sergeant.

(Eugène and Sergeant exeunt L.D.)

Erminie

(Stopping Ravannes, who is following Sergeant)

Vicomte, I must have a few words with you.

Ravannes

(L.C.)

Certainly! A thousand. I will return.

(Going R. to door. This scene should be made slightly dramatic, Ravannes in his anxiety betraying himself about papers, but to his own benefit as she takes it.)

Erminie

(R.C.)

No, no, now. You must hear me. I have an appeal to you to your generous nature. Your nature is generous, I’m sure.

Ravannes

It is, it is. I have the tenderness of a woman.

Erminie

You are the blight upon two loving hearts.

Ravannes

The mildew shall be removed.

(Goes up to back, trying to get away.)

Erminie

You are standing between two kindred souls.

(She brings him back.)

Ravannes

Then I will step aside.

(Going across R.)

Erminie

Not till you have heard. Oh, by the love that I might and should have felt for you, had you been he - by the hate which, as you are not, fills me - that is not hate, but hate compared with the love I feel for him.

Ravannes

Him? Who? Captain Delaunay?

Erminie

No, Eugène.

Ravannes

Eugène, he? Let me fly. I cannot stay to witness his bliss.

(Crosses again L.)

Erminie

Oh, Vicomte, be merciful. Give me up.

(Following)

Ravannes

I do, I do, though with the effort a human heart is broken.

Erminie

Two others will be made whole, and they will for ever bless you.

Ravannes

They’re very good.

Erminie

You will scorn the contract, refuse to sign, destroy the paper.

Ravannes

(Crosses R.)

If I can obtain them from the Sergeant, yes.

Erminie

The Sergeant?

(Following him R.)

Ravannes

The Cap.… The Marq….

(Half aside)

I had a scheme, would have effected everything. But, if Delaunay reads that paper, all is lost.

Erminie

Then he shall not read it.

Not? What? Rot! I’m losing my nerve.

(Goes up R.)

Delaunay

(Enters L.D., reading letter. Sergeant follows.)

“I beg that you will take the trouble to read the accompanying statement. The effrontery of the prisoner may surprise you.” What can be…?

Erminie

(Taking paper as he opens it)

No, no, Captain, business tomorrow. This evening is devoted to pleasure.

(As she puts paper behind her, Ravannes seizes it.)

Ravannes

Exactly.

(Aside to Erminie)

In the corridor after supper you shall know my plan to save you.

Erminie

But Eugène! May I tell…?

Ravannes

In the corridor after supper, yes.

Delaunay

But hang it all. Duty!

(Omnes enter.)

Ravannes

Duty is now to attend on beauty. And from such service who would shrink?

Omnes

None, none.

Marquis

(Entering C. from L. with Eugène, who, comes down L. of Erminie)

Come, Erminie, your slaves must be dying for food.

Erminie

(C.)

Yes, Papa.

(To Eugène)

The Vicomte will help us, will tell you more in the corridor after supper.

(Guests fill up stage. Princess enters, followed by some guests, Chevalier.)

Princess

(Entering C.)

The dear Baron is so clever. He has won 200 francs off me.

First Guest

And fifty off me.

Second Guest

And 500 off me.

Chevalier

And 20 off me.

Cadeaux

(Entering C. from L.)

Only practice. The quickness of the ’and deceives the hye. Where’s Benedic?

(Sees Sargeant.)

I’m innocent. I can prove a halibi.

Ravannes

(To Cadeaux)

Idiot!

Omnes

How clever!

Simon

(Enters C.)

Supper!

Chevalier

Princess, may I?

Princess

I have promised the Baron.

(Chevalier exits C.)

Chevalier

Oh, damn that Baron!

(Cadeaux crosses, offering arm to Princess, and guests select their partners and wander off to Chorus.)

COME, TO SUPPER LET’S REPAIR,
DANCING GIVES A ZEST
FOR THE VIANDS, RICH AND RARE;
NIMBLE FEET MUST REST.
GAILY HAVE THE HOURS FLOWN
IMPERCEPTIBLY.
LIGHT FANTASTIC BLISS UNKNOWN,
SWEETEST MELODY.
THE TABLE GAY
WITH JUSTICE CLAIMS
OUR MORTAL FRAMES;
AWAY!  AWAY!

CURTAIN

ACT III

(Mechanical change from ballroom, the walls revolving. This scene may be greatly simplified if necessary. The change may be worked in a dozen different ways. The gallery and staircase may also be dispensed with, although of great value where they can be had. The three doors in flats are of the greatest importance, and the scene should suggest a passage or corridor with other doors.)

Scene:- An old panelled oak-chamber, massive and heavy carvings. By fire-place R.. openings arched R. and L. at back, three doors in flats with others seen off at side. A staircase runs up from L. to gallery at back, across over chamber doors showing other doors painted on exit on gallery R. A stand of armour stands at this sign. Important it is placed on during working of scene.

(Ravannes enters, followed by Cadeaux on top of staircase and down stage, Cadeaux now with his bundle and umbrella of Act I.)

Ravannes

Come along, Caddy, leave the window open in case of need.

Cadeaux

Oh, Ravvy, let’s scarper! What’s the good of stopping to be copped?

Ravannes

What’s the use of leaving to wander around the country with the hound of justice at our heels and the certainty of capture at the finish?

Cadeaux

Oh, don’t talk so, Ravvy.

Ravannes

We must have horses and a carriage.

(Coming down stairs)

Cadeaux

Oh, what a swag we could land if we had. I could a filled a wan to-night.

Ravannes

We shall have them. I am waiting for my affianced bride. I shall get her to agree to an elopement.

(Crosses to fire-place.)

Cadeaux

Elope and leave your old pal?

Ravannes

No, no, with my rival the secretary and so obtain by her orders the conveyance which is to secure our flight.

Cadeaux

(C.)

Oh, Ravvy, what a general you’d a bin!

(Looking about nervously)

Ravannes

By this plan we shall also secure her diamonds. No female ever elopes without her jewelry.

(Crosses L.)

Cadeaux

Oh, it’s too good. It can’t come off. We may be nabbed at any moment.

Ravannes

I know. We must risk that.

Cadeaux

No, Ravvy, let’s give ourselves up. We’ve had a hevingly hevening.

Ravannes

Stop trembling, or I’ll end your nervousness.

(Seizes him savagely.)

Cadeaux

No, Ravvy, I can prove a halibi.

Erminie

(Without)

I am here, Eugène.

Ravannes

She’s coming, Caddy, and the blooming bird is with her. To tell him our plan would be dangerous. He half suspects already. Up the stairs quick! We must wait till she’s alone.

(Cadeaux stumbles on stairs.)

You blundering fool!

Cadeaux

Don’t, Ravvy, it’s my first offence.

(They go half way up stairs.)

Eugène

(Enters with Erminie L. from corridor.)

I must then wait and trust. But can you not give me an idea whence this aid will come?

Erminie

(C.)

Why, from our friend the Vicomte, as you should have guessed.

Eugène

(L.C.)

He our friend I can scarce believe!

Erminie

Of course not. He is your hated rival. But, if he does all he has promised, you may yet live to thank and bless him for your happiness.

Eugène

My Erminie!

(Embraces her.)

Javotte

(Enters corridor L., followed by Simon.)

Hmm! All right, Mam’selle, nobody here but me!

Simon

That’s all. Nobody here but….

Javotte

(Boxes his ear.)

How dare you make me tell Mam’selle a story like that, please? The Vicomte is not in the supper-room. He left the table with his friend the Baron, so Simon says.

Erminie

Seek him, Eugène. He is a stranger to the Château and may have lost his way. I must see him to-night. Look through the corridors.

(Eugène exits L., Erminie following.)

Javotte

(As Erminie and Eugène exeunt L.)

What are you standing there for, stupid? Didn’t you hear Mam’selle say she must see the Vicomte to-night?

(Ravannes watches from stairs, runs down and follows her off, unseen by Javotte, his object being to see her alone. Ravannes goes off L.)

Simon

I’ve enough of him to-night and a great deal too much of the other swells. What was that Captain saying to you?

Javotte

Oh, he was only asking if I’d seen the Sergeant.

Simon

Couldn’t he ask without kissing you?

Javotte

Oh, that was an accident.

Simon

A what?!

(Stamps foot.)

Javotte

Why, you jealous simpleton, he was going to whisper but, the corridor being dark, he mistook my mouth for my ear.

Simon

He’d better mind I don’t mistake his cranium for a hogshead and tap it.

Javotte

You go along and search the corridor for the Vicomte.

Simon

You come along with me to insure against accidents. I want no more mistakes in your military manoeuvres.

(Exeunt R. corridor R. Cadeaux gets under stairs L. Erminie, Cerise and Ravannes enter L. and come down C.)

Ravannes

(L.)

It is useless. Your father is obdurate. I cannot move him.

Erminie

(C.)

Then there is no hope? No way?

Ravannes

I have vowed to serve you and I will. I have considered everything. There is but one way. You must elope.

Cerise

(R.)

With you?

Ravannes

No, such happiness is not for me. With Eugène.

(Leaning on banister, foot of stairs)

Erminie

That would be delightful. I wonder he never proposed it.

Cerise

You are not serious, Erminie?

Erminie

Indeed I am if it can be done.

Ravannes

I will arrange all details, see you safely off, and remain to bear the brunt of the Marquis’s anger.

Cerise

But you are not counting on Eugène. Will he be agreeable?

Erminie.

No, I’m afraid he will never consent to carry me off.

Ravannes

A mere detail. Then you must carry him off!

Cerise

It’s deliciously romantic, but I’m afraid you mustn’t think of it. You can’t go this way.

Erminie

Yes I can, and take you with me. To go alone wouldn’t be at all proper.

(Goes up. Cadeaux under stairs drops his umbrella out, making a noise. Ladies start. Cadeaux dives out and tries to get away round corner to corridor. Ravannes just catches long sleeve of coat as he is disappearing, brings him forward.)

Ravannes

My friend the Baron….

Cadeaux

How are you, girls?

Ravannes

… has promised every assistance. Send your authority and he’ll make all arrangements with the grooms. The regular postilions we must dispense with. My friend will act in that capacity.

Cadeaux

No, I was never on a hoss….

(Tries to get away. Ravannes holds him, and his coat comes off.)

Ravannes

(L.C.)

The Baron is an accomplished horseman. Who can you send with him to the stables?

(Enter Javotte R.)

Erminie

(R.C.)

Where is Javotte?

Javotte

(C.)

I’m here, Mam’selle.

(Cadeaux business of trying to find sleeve of coat)

Erminie

I want a messenger to Joliquet at the stables.

Javotte

I understand, Mam’selle. Simon shall go. He’s not far away.

(Exit R.)

Erminie

Shall we require to take anything?

Ravannes

Well, a change….

Cadeaux

(Crosses L.)

A few things in a bundle - your tooth brush and your Sunday togs.

Ravannes

You may be away some days. It may take time to bend your father’s will.

Cerise

Then we must get our trunks from the storeroom.

Erminie

That might arouse suspicion.

(Simon and Javotte R.)

Ravannes

Very probably. A few necessaries, trifles, knickknacks.

Cadeaux

Trifles we have a knack o’ nicking,

Ravannes

Your jewelry.

Erminie

Jewelry?!

Ravannes

You see, jewelry can always be changed back to money on a pinch .

Cadeaux

(L.)

Not a pinch back jewelry.

Javotte

Here’s Simon, Mam’selle.

Erminie

Simon, take this gentleman to the stables. Tell Joliquet whatever instructions he may give are to be obeyed to the letter.

(Speaks with Javotte and Cerise.)

Simon

Yes, Mam’selle. This way, my Lord.

(Up L.)

I love horses. I could live in a stable. Come along.

Cadeaux

If I could find Benedic and get a drop of summat to steady my nerves. I’m trembling like a jelly-fish.

Ravannes

Good horses, mind. Be steady and cautious.

Cadeaux

I’ll bring a jackass.

(Exeunt Cadeaux and Simon L.)

Cerise

(R.)

Come then, Javotte. Be diligent and don’t betray us.

Javotte

If I breath a word, may I never get married!

(Cerise and Javotte exeunt L.C.D.)

Ravannes

(To Erminie)

Tell Eugène nothing. Say only he is to meet you in the garden at three.

(Aside)

By that time we shall be clean away. I have four packages in readiness. The Baron will assist me to take them to the chaise.

(Crosses to R.C.)

Erminie

(Goes to L.D.C.)

Look, this is my dressing-room. The chambers are beyond.

Ravannes

How shall we find it again in the dark? A light might attract attention. And the doors in this corridor are all so much alike.

Erminie

We will place a sentry.

Ravannes

A sentry?

Erminie

Yes, this stand of armour. My great grand uncle René. We will drag him to the right side of our door.

Ravannes

Capital! That will be our guide.

Marquis

(Without L.)

Come, Princess!

Erminie

Be cautious! The guests are approaching. The party is breaking up.

(Servants enter with lights, Marquis, Princess and Chevalier R., Eugène et al L. Some guests with servants go up stairs.).

Princess

I can’t tell you how much I’ve been amused, Marquis.

Marquis

Delighted, Princess. Your room is here.

(Pointing out C.D.)

Here is your door, Chevalier.

(Indicating R.D.)

Princess

Thanks!

(Seeing armour)

What is that?

Marquis

That? The armour of a famous warrior, my grand-uncle René.

Princess

How nice! So like poor, dear Gramponeur. Where is the dear Baron? He is so clever. He has taken my watch to regulate.

Ravannes

He is making an important astronomical calculation. He is taking the altitude of a star.

Princess

Just like poor, dear Gramponeur.

Marquis

Come, Eugène, you shall accompany me on my rounds. Once more, friends, good night!

No 20 - Concerted Piece ‘Good-Night’

Chorus

’TIS GROWING LATE, ’TIS GROWING LATE,

AND TIME INDEED TO END THE FÊTE,

Principals

OR WE SHALL SEE THE MORNING’S LIGHT
BEFORE WE SAY TO YOU GOOD-NIGHT.
GOOD-NIGHT, GOOD-NIGHT,
MAY DREAMS BE BRIGHT,
GOOD-NIGHT, GOOD-NIGHT.

Marquis

Good night, Princess, and pleasant dreams.

(Marquis exits R., Chevalier R.C.D. Princess C., guests R. and L. and up staircase.)

Eugène

(To Erminie)

Have you succeeded?

(Eugène, when others nearly off, brings Erminie a little forward.)

Erminie

(L.C.)

All will be well. Have not time to impart more now. Meet me in the garden at three.

Eugène

(R.C.)

At three in the garden. Can I?

Erminie

If you can’t, I must ask the Vicomte.

Eugène

I will be there.

Erminie

I thought you would.

(Lights go down a little as servants exeunt.)

Marquis

(Without)

Eugène.

Eugène

Yes, Marquis, I’m coming.

(Exit R.)

Erminie

(Crosses to L.C.D. as Cerise and Javotte with light enter. Lights up.)

First, to move the sentinel.

Cerise

The stand of armour?

Erminie

Yes, here he is.

(Moves armour.)

Now there he is.

(Armour R. of L.D.)

Cerise

They can’t very well miss that.

Erminie

Now to collect our things. Oh, how nervous I’m getting!

(Lights down. They exeunt L.C.D. as Ravannes comes down stairs.)

Marquis

(Without)

Come, Eugène, we must go down and see our friends depart.

Ravannes

The devil!

(Hides on staircase.)

Chevalier

(Enters from R.C.D.)

I cannot account for this restlessness.

(Marquis and Eugène (with light) enter R. Lights up.)

Marquis

Chevalier, you here?

Chevalier

Yes, if you’ll allow me, I’ll go down with you, get a little air and look at the moon.

Marquis

As you please, Chevalier.

(Crosses L.)

You’re unused to these late hours. Come along!

Chevalier

Just so. Come along!

(Exeunt L. Lights down. Ravannes during speech gropes down stairs and feels his way to armour.)

Ravannes

Why don’t these old fools go to bed? Caddy, Caddy! No matter! He knows - the room next the figure. I must help those girls with our plunder. There’ll be a dearth of jewelry to-morrow! Ah, here is the silent sentry! This then is the room.

(Exit L.C.D.)

Cadeaux

(Entering by gallery and coming down staircase and coming down)

Ravvy! Ravvy! Ravvy is so reckless! It’s the biggest plant I ever was in, and if I’m nabbed it’ll be the biggest tree I ever was up. I’ve had 14 days, 8 months four times, 1 year twice, 7 years unfinished. This’ll be a fourteen penn’orth if I can’t prove a halibi. Eh? What? What did you say?

(Touches armour.)

Oh, it’s the old iron image. Right. He marks the room. The door at the side. Which side? Right can’t be wrong. So here goes.

(Exit to C. room - Princess’s.)

Chevalier

(Enters L.)

I shall be better in bed. How dark!

(Screams heard. Cadeaux re-enters hurriedly.)

Cadeaux

The wrong room. I’m innocent. I can prove a halibi!

(Exit hurriedly R., feeling his way.)

Chevalier

(L., crossing C.)

Eh? What? My room is somewhere here.

(Going to C.D.)

Princess

(Entering)

It’s scandalous. I never…!

(Seizes Chevalier.)

I have you, monster. Don’t attempt to escape. Help, help! Where is the dear Baron? Why is he not here to protect me?

Marquis

(Entering L. with Eugène, with light. Lights up.)

Princess! Chevalier! What has happened?

Princess

(C.)

Seize this iniquitous old man!

Marquis

(L.C.)

Pray be calm! Let us avoid raising the house. What has occurred?

Princess

(C.)

He has unblushingly intruded upon the privacy of my apartment.

Chevalier

(R.)

No! No!

Princess

Dare you deny? I caught you here at the very door trying to make your escape.

Marquis

Believe me, there is some mistake.

Eugène

(L.)

Indeed, Princess, the Chevalier was with us but this moment.

Marquis

Pray retire, Princess. I will make all enquiries. I am assured the Chevalier is a….

(Leads Princess to door C.)

Princess

… a bold, bad man. I would secure my door were I not so afraid of ghosts.

Marquis

Make your mind easy, Princess. The Ponverts have all died natural deaths.

Princess

How nice! Just like poor, dear Gramponeur. Thank you, gentlemen, so much.

(Exit C.D.)

Chevalier

(R.)

It is really a great deal past my comprehension. The Princess is perfectly sane, I trust.

Marquis

(C.)

She’s been dreaming of you, Chevalier. It will be all right in the morning. Here’s your room. Now, who’s been moving Uncle René’s armour?

(Eugène moves armour back to R. of C.D., its original place)

Eugène

The servants must have been making some changes.

Marquis

They know my objection to changes, or ought to by this time. Good night, Chevalier. You’ll be better in bed. Here you are on the right of Uncle René.

Chevalier

Better in bed on the right of Uncle René.

(Exit R.D.)

Marquis

(Going R.)

Come to my room, Eugène, and we will talk over these suspicions of yours.

Eugène

I can scarcely say what my suspicions are, but I fear all is not right.

Marquis

Ever thoughtful for our affairs. How different from that puppy, the Vicomte. Ah, if you and Erminie…. But there! Regrets are useless.

Eugène

Oh, sir!

(Aside)

Am I dreaming? Believe me, sir….

Marquis

Yes, I know, it can’t be helped. If people don’t fancy each other, they don’t.

(Exeunt Marquis and Eugène R.)

Ravannes

(Opening L.D.)

Caddy! Oh, what? Not there! I thought I heard him.

(Closes door.)

Chevalier

(Entering R.D.)

My light is out.

(Crosses L.)

Most annoying! If I could but find my way to the Marquis’s room.

(Ravannes opens door again.)

Ravannes

Sh! Are you there?

Chevalier

Am I here?

(On the R. of the L.D. sinks frightened, half against flat at side of door.)

Ravannes

You idiot! Surely you know if you’re there or not?

Chevalier

Yes, I am here.

Ravannes

I’m glad you’ve made up your mind. Where the devil have you been so long?

Chevalier

Where the devil have you been so long?

Ravannes

Don’t keep echoing my words! Come here! Take hold of this bundle! Reach out, can’t you? Why, you’re shaking like a dice-box!

Chevalier

What am I to do with it?

Ravannes

What am I to do with it? Didn’t we arrange it before?

Chevalier

Did we?

Ravannes

Take it into the bottom of the stairs. Make no mistake, or I’ll strangle you.

(Shuts door.)

Chevalier

I’m going. Preserve me! I’m engaged in a burglary! Oh, Mr. Confederate, don’t kill me!

(Exit L.)

Cadeaux

(Entering L.)

All’s clear, if things can be clear when they’re not at all clear. The darkness is clear enough. If this isn’t darkness, I don’t know darkness when I see it.

(Shoves by accident armour back to R. of L.D.)

Hello! Can’t you look where you’re passing? Oh, it’s the tin-man!

Ravannes

(Opening door.)

Sh! Have you come back?

Cadeaux

(R. of L.D.)

Of course, I should ha’ bin here before, but I got twisted.

Ravannes

You have been here before. What do you mean?

Cadeaux

Have I? I didn’t know.

Ravannes

Have you taken the bundle?

Cadeaux

No, I’ve come for it.

Ravannes

Come for what?

Cadeaux

The bundle, o’ course.

Ravannes

You had it.

Cadeaux

Yes, I dropped it off the stairs.

Ravannes

Yes, yes, who else? No fooling!

Cadeaux

How do I know who else?

Ravannes

No fooling!

Cadeaux

That’s just what I say. Turn it up!

Ravannes

Fool! Come inside and get the jewelry.

(Exeunt into room.)

Chevalier

(Entering L.)

I never felt so frightened. I’m in peril of my life. If I can now find my room, I’ll lock myself in and be content with the darkness till morning. Ah, here is the armour. How fortunate! The Marquis said on the right. Thank goodness I am safe at last.

(Exit C.D. Ravannes and Cadeaux enter. Screams. Alarm bell rings.)

Ravannes

What the deuce is that? There’s an alarm.

Cadeaux

It’s all up. I’m innocent. I can prove a halibi.

Ravannes

Up the stairs quick! Throw down your bundle! Quick, quick!

(They exeunt up staircase. Screams, alarm bell, Marquis and Eugène R., guests follow. Simon, Javotte and Sergeant enter with lights.)

Marquis

(Crosses L.)

What’s the matter? Here, the chamber of the Princess.

Princess

(Running on centre)

Save me! Help, help!

(Chevalier enters C.D.)

Omnes

Chevalier!!!!

Princess

That libertine again! Now, Marquis, I shall be believed.

Chevalier

No, no, I am innocent. It’s a mistake. I have been half-murdered. There are burglars in this house.

Omnes

Burglars??!!

(Erminie and Cerise enter L.C.D.)

Marquis

Erminie! Cerise! What is this?

Erminie

Oh, Papa, forgive me. I was going to elope.

Marquis

With the Vicomte?

Erminie

(C.)

No! With Eugène!

Marquis

(L.C.)

How dare…?

Eugène

(R.)

Sir…, I….

Erminie

Oh, he knew nothing about it. I was going to carry him off.

Cerise

(Crosses R.)

The Vicomte promised to help us.

Delaunay

(Entering L.)

Marquis, a serious imposition has been practised on you. The pretended Vicomte is no other than the notorious thief Ravannes.

Omnes

Ravannes?!

Princess

How different from his friend the Baron!

Delaunay

The supposed Baron is really none other than Ravannes’s companion, the escaped convict Cadeaux.

(Princess faints in Chevalier’s arms. Delaunay crosses to L.)

Simon

I always thought they were no gentlemen.

Javotte

Don’t you interfere!

Ernest

(Entering L.)

Marquis, may I have the honor of introducing myself? Ernest, Vicomte de Brissac.

Eugène & Cerise

Ernest!

Ernest

Cerise!

(Business. Vicomte crosses to Cerise, embracing.)

Marquis

There will be no difficulty in arranging matters here, I see.

Cerise

This is Eugène’s dearest companion.

Eugène

And Cerise’s fondest friend.

Princess

So like poor, dear Gramponeur.

(Shouts. Ravannes, Cadeaux and soldiers enter, Ravannes and Cadeaux bound.

Ravannes

Ah, ladies, sorry our little trip was interrupted!

Cadeaux

Ah, Princess, how different it might ‘ave bin, if they wasn’t as they is.

Marquis

A precious fool I shall look tomorrow when the notaries arrive and no bridegroom.

Erminie

There’s Eugène, Papa.

Marquis

Well, Eugène, what do you say?

Eugène

Oh, Sir, what could I say?

Princess

How nice!

Ravannes

The blushing brides who owe to us their happiness will plead in our defence.

Cadeaux

I shall plead guilty. It’s my first offence, and I can prove a halibi.

No 21 - Finale

Erminie

SHOULD WE GAINYOUR FAVORS, EVERY HEART IS GAY.
TRA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!
AND ALL REJOICING WE SHALL GO OUR WAY,
TRA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!

Eugène

LET GRACE NOT IRE IN YOUR HEARTS ABIDE,
LET YOUR SMILES ALL OUR EFFORTS GUIDE;
IN COUNSELS MILD YOUR DECISION GUIDE, 
FOR THE TASTE OF SUCCESS IS SWEET.

Erminie

TRA LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!

Principals & Chorus

DEIGN, PRAY, TO CHEER EACH HEART
KINDLY ERE YOU DEPART;
A WEIGHT OF CARE DISMAYING, ALLAYING,
SAY, WITH OUR EFFORTS WE GAIN HERE A VICTORY,
AND ERMINIE TRIUMPHANTLY MAY LONG CONTRIVE TO REIGN.

CURTAIN