Enjoy yourselves, enjoy yourselves, my dear friends. I am delighted to see you so happy. Are the Piper children here - and especially Contrary Mary?
No, Master Barnaby, Mary didn't come to the Fete.
That's strange, I'm giving it to please her -- and to make you all a little fonder of me.
Why, are you our host?
Yes.
Only yesterday he seized poor old Mother Hubbard's house and turned her into the road, all for a debt of a few shillings!
Let's finish the afternoon by putting Barnaby under the town pump!
Hurrah!
Hi! Tom Tom, just in time!
What for?
To save me from the town pump! Stop 'em, my boy, stop 'em, don't let 'em hurt your future brother-in-law!
What you? Which of my sisters had caught your miserly eye?
It's Mary --willful, but entrancing Mary!
YOU want to marry Contrary Mary? You might as well try to turn off the sun and blow out the stars!
But let him go, friends, as a favor to me! We may be relatives yet.
Ah! Then there's hope for me with Contrary Mary?
Not a gleam, but some day, you may be my uncle-in-law!
If you mean my niece Jane? She and Alan are at the bottom of the sea.
I don't believe it!
They'll never come back to their broken-hearted Uncle Barnaby!
And what's their broken-hearted Uncle Barnaby going to do with their fortune?
I'm keeping it for them --the law forces me to do tat.
Trust you to take good care of money. You skinflint! But you'll
be wise if you take better care to keep out of our way hereafter.
Now go!
Master Tom Tom where are you going?
Hilda, I'm going to find the girl I'm in love with - Jane.
Old Barnaby's niece? ---
Old Barnaby says so, and that's why I don't believe it.
But me and my sad faced companion can prove it. We were the sole survivors of the wreck.
And who are you?
I was in charge of the ship, my name is Gonzorgo.
Yes, friend to boot!
We swear by our right hands
I don't think they're telling the truth!
Nor do I!
You don't by any chance go in for the three B's do you?
Yes, the three B's. Bridge, Bank Nite and Bingo!
I saw you at the Village Fair. You were running the carasel. And you offered to wager you could pick the horse that would come in first.
You can't accuse us of cheating, it must have been two other scoundrels. Defend yourself!
Oh, Mrs. Piper, you're just in time!
Tom, don't be rude to the gentleman!
Madam, is he your little boy?
Yes, he is the black sheep of our family -- but I love him!
He can't be the white-haired boy and still a black sheep.
Maybe she's color blind.
Because of that, I spare him.
Accept the blessings of a lonely widow!
Have you been lonely long?
Two years.
And have you only the white-haired black sheep to love?
No, he has 13 sisters and brothers who need a father's care.
That's a lot of work for one caretaker.
Fourteen children! And -
Yes, Mr. Piper left us very well off. And this is our cottage.
I adore the country, don't you?
I have to.
Why?
Did you ever try to rent an apartment in the City with 14 children?
And when the nestlings have all flown away, have you ever thought of mating once again?
Well, of course I've had my moments. Will you gentlemen enter and partake of some refreshments?
Will we!? We will.
I married once for money. If I wed again, it will have to be an artist, a poet, or a hero.
I'm not an expert accountant, but did you say you had 14
children?
Yes, fourteen.
Your second husband would have to be a hero.
I'll look for the children, Master Tom, and tell them you're going away.
Thank you, Hilda.
Why, sister Bo Peep, you have the saddest face I've ever seen.
I missed most of the party, because I lost my sheep.
That's nothing for you to feel sheepish about - don't cry, little Bo Peep, don't cry.
I've just found out why old Barnaby is paying for this party.
Why?
He wants everybody on hand to hear his engagement announcement.
Engagement? To whom?
Contrary Mary.
Oh, Mary hasn't gone and done a dreadful thing like that?
Not yet. But mother's set on the match, and is going to
announce the engagement anyway.
Let Barnaby keep his old party! I'm going back to tidy up the
stable!
Party! He can't buy us with lemonade and chocolate eclaires, can he girls?
No!
I hope all of you will keep out of trouble till I get back.
Where are you going?
Away this very hour to look for Jane!
I will, Little Miss Moffett, no spiders for you eh? I know how tough it was on the tuffet.
Well I'm off on my hunt for Jane. Who'll go as far as the turn
of the road with me?
All of us!
Wait, Master Tom, you mustn't go around the world hungry. Here's a box of sandwiches with jelly and pickle.
Thank you, Hilda. And good-bye! Come along, boys and girls.
Goodbye! Goodbye! Just think, he's leaving his native home land. He'll be like a man without a country. What can be worse than that!
Nothing "except a country without a man".
He's going around the world to find his sweetheart.
And everybody knows that Jane is under the ocean.
Everybody except Jane!
You? It isn't you, is it?
Hilda, it simply can't be anybody else!
Where's Alan?
He stopped to pin up a tear in his skirt.
Skirt?
After the shipwreck, our clothes were in tatters-- but we met a
band of gypsies that gave us what clothing they could spare.
And we had to arrange it thus.
And here's Alan, a regular gypsy!
Hilda and Jill! Would you know me?
Never, Alan, if I hadn't been told.
I am Floretta - until further notice--Floretta, the Fawn of the
Forest.
How is our Uncle Barnaby?
Your Uncle Barnaby is well.
And Contrary Mary?
Still waiting for a certain young man to come back from being drowned.
Where's Tom Tom?
Just started to find you. Quick! If he hasn't gone too far, we
can catch him!
Don't go away, Alan, and look out for the Widow Piper.
Remember you're not too popular, with Mary's mother.
Hilda and Jill, let's hurry!
Ah. here you are now!...I mean, do you want your palm read?
A gypsy! Yes I will have my fortune told. Can you tell fortunes?
Better than an income tax collector. I peek into the future
at 25 cents a peek.
There, peek for me!
Your name is Piper! You've had an unfortunate marriage.
Can you tell that by the lines in my hand?
No, by the lines under your eyes. Your husband is dead. He was not very handsome, he had A. & P. eyes. One eye faced the Atlantic and one eye faced the Pacific. You have a daughter named Mary. She should marry a young man whose name begins with A. He has a lovely character, is charming, gifted and attractive.
If you're talking about a wretched, no-account young fool named
Alan, you're all wrong.
No, I am -- that is he is -a character every one could love. I'd even love him myself,-- that is, if I knew him.
I don't think this is such a very good reading.
I could do better with tea leaves....if you could bring me a cup of tea....and perhaps some hot biscuits...I also read the future by hot buttered biscuits.
Go ahead, Gypsy, and tell me more about myself.
I must see them first.
There is one!
Well, if that is one, I'd advise you to take the other.
What have we here, a gypsy?
Yes. Let her read your hand.
I give you my hand, to find out if she-
But first you must take off your glove.
I'm not wearing gloves, my hands are sunburned.
Yes, expecially the palms.
I know you see there a mad love and devotion.
Yes, I can see you returning home at night and this lady with her fourteen children, waiting to greet you on the front porch.
Yes...
Yes, and your present wife and triplets waiting for you on the back porch!
Gonzorgo! You! You are married?
Well, yes, and no!
Make up your mind!
He has a wife. And his wife's feet are always so tired, her toes want to turn in!
It's false.
I dost.
She dosts, and the sooner you dust the better.
You don't know what a service you've done me, you've torn the
mask from his face. Thank you so much, thank you so much,
Floretta, the Fawn!
So, you are the Fawn! --Well, there goes my deer and my doe!
You are a gypsy with the accent on the gyp.
Not bad, for the Fawn of the forest.
We couldn't find Tom Tom.
If you need any clothes the children have plenty to spare.
Get me some boys togs. I feel it would be well for Floretta to
vanish.
A gypsy!
Perhaps a fortune-teller!
Do you tell fortunes?
Do I? It was destined by the stars that I was to be a fortune- teller. My father was born under the sign of the crab, and I was born under the sign of the bull. I can tell you everything except the size of the National debt.
I don't see anything of her anywhere.
Contrary Mary always works at her garden at this house.
Is Miss Mary at home?
No, she's at school. She's taking a course in domestic silence.
You mean domestic science.
No, she's going to cooking school.
We merely dropped in to inquire about her garden.
It's doing very well, thank you.
Oh, look, aren't you Mary's Beaux?
We are!
There's quite a crowd to see Mary.
And I just love crowds!
Mary!
I'm glad to see you all collectively. Won't you make yourselves at home?
Mary, is it true that you are going to marry?
Of course I'm going to marry....
Oh!
That is - some day! I don't know when or to whom!
Can't you make a choice now?
Yes, each one of us is proposing to you.
I'll consider your offer. But here's what I expect from the man I could really love.
Here, pretty one, is a bunch of pretty blosoms, and I only wish they were as pretty as you.
Thank you.
I've hidden a tender little note in that bouquet. I'll go away
and let it speak for me.
Oh, say it yourelf, and have it over with!
Sit down.
Pardon me, but there's nothing wrong with your cheek.
You may be treating me this way in the hopes that Alan will come back and marry you. Take my word for it, you'll never see him again.
How I wish I could say the same of you.
Here's proof! The very men in whose tender care I placed my niece and nephew. Now do you believe me?
I'll neither believe you nor marry you!
Well, are you ready to settle with your silent partners?
I don't understand you.
You can hear us, even if we are your silent partners. And here's what we want to broadcast to you. How about our contract to get rid of your niece and nephew?
What have you done with Jane and Alan?
They are now playing harps with Saint Pete and his golden Gaters.
IT did - - they did --
and we did. Down went the hull of the Ship.
You mean the whole of the ship.
Hull or whole- what is a little pronunciation among friends? The ship sank! And everyone but us two are now sleeping on the ocean bed with oysters as pillows.
What are you crying for?
I've seen the last of my little charges.
And now you'll see the first of ours.
A bill?
My little charges for disposing of your little charges.
500 dollars!?
For scuttling one ship.
What part of it did you do?
I was 1st vice-president in charge of the scuttle department.
Follow me down to my office, I am the manager of the T.C.N.P.U. --Finance Company. There is much money in my vault.
The T.C.N.P.U. finance company? What does the T.C.N.P.U. stand for?
They Can Never Pay Up!
Remember Jane, when we meet Mary, two is company, and three - is a conference.
Don't worry. I know when I'm not wanted.
Wonder where it came from. What's this?
What is it?
"To darling Mary". "From her future husband."
Oh, Alan! In your absence have you been jilted?
I'll never speak to her again!
I won't dress for the party, I won't! I won't!
Alan!
Oh Mary!
Very well, thank you. Don't you think we need rain?
Yes--a change. Some people can't get along with change.
Thank you.
I haven't seen you for some time.
You've been away, haven't you?
Have you really noticed it?
It just occurred to me.
It's a warm day.
What?
Chilly, isn't it?
Very.
I heard what you said.
Alan, I don't understand such behavior.
Better ask your future husband to explain it!
My future husband? Who is he?
Who is he? Is this a guessing contest?
What do you mean?
You're somebody's darling, an old man's darling, perhaps a nice lovely old man with millions!
Oh, don't you think you're smart?
There's my reason.
It isn't so! I don't know who wrote this, and you're just horrid to believe it!
I've got to believe my eyes.
You believe your eyes before you believe me? Then I've found you out in time. You never loved me--and--don't you dare to ever speak to me again!
Good-bye, forever!
Good-bye, forever!
I heard what you said.
Oh, did you? Well, this time it is goodbye forever!
And when I say forever I mean definitely! Goodbye!
What did Mary do to you, Alan?
She didn't do anything to me, but she loves somebody else. I'm going to take my part of the fortune Uncle Barnaby is keeping for us, and go far far away!
I'll get my money from him too, and I'll go with you.
Where?
I don't know, don't you?
Let's get a map and stick a pin in it, and whever the pin sticks, we'll go!
I've got a pin.
I have one too.
What is this--why--?
We're glad to see you.
And we want our money.
Ghosts, they can't be alive, ghosts!! Take them away!
Will you pay us our money?
No, no, you are dead. Go away! Ghosts!
We'll show you how alive we are. Present arms!
We almost stuck him for the money. Are you still going to travel?
Yes. Although we'll be homeless rovers on the highway.
Was that the widow Piper who slammed the door in our faces?
Yes, it was. Thanks to that gypsy, what was her name gypsy --?
Gypsy Rose Lee.
No, no, she was a gypsy Fawn. Not a gypsy Bear
Have you brought our pay?
Pay? You haven't earned it yet. Jane and Alan have returned.
Alive?
Painfully so!
They suspect...
Nothing. They think it was all an accident. While they still trust us we must try again to -to remove them.
How?
I've told them I bought a new country house while they were away, and you two must take them there tonight, but the road to it leads thru the Spider's Forest.
Business detains me in the village. In the depth of the forest you will accidentally lose the children.
It's a deadly place. I've heard of it.
Alive with dangers--small chance the children will ever come out of it.
But will we?
I don't think so.
What!
I don't think so many dangers are there....that is, for you.
But when we have carried out the designs, we expect to be paid in cash.
Yes, it's strictly a cash and carry proposition.
Don't worry about the money, I'll fetch the children here, and remember everything is on the q.t.
Come on, the lawn is empty.
Hurry up Mary, now's your chance!!
Do you know where you're going?
As far from old Barnaby as I can get. And if I never come back, you can have my Shirley Temple doll.
Oh, don't talk that way!
Careful -slowly--there you are!
Hand down my baggage, please.
Goodbye! Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Boy Blue, you won't forget to feed the guinea pigs?
I promise!
Goodbye! And don't forget to give some little pieces of cheese
to my little mice, Mickey and Minnie. And take care of my
Donald Duck.
What?
My overshoes!
Tom Tom and Mary gone in one day! Mother will be pleased!
There she is, coming in the front way with the children.
Not a word!
Here comes somebody!
Oh, it's only Jane!
Only me. Where are the rest of the children?
Getting ready for school.
I just despise it. Why, I'd rather get married than to go to
school.
Where are you all now?
Still in the primary. It's the nasty arithmetic that's keeping
us back. Look at those sums we've got for today.
Oh, these are easy.
Come on boys and girls, Jane is going to do our sums for us!
I can't do that sum!
Now, Alan, my boy, you're going to my new home with Jane--
Here's Jane, I'll tell her.
Where is it?
A little journey, and these fellows are to take us.
They'll see you safely there, and I'll follow.
We're ready. And tomorrow I want my share of my fortune!
Me, too!
We'll tend to that when you see me in the morning.
If those men had long beards--
I know. You'd think they were the villains who lured us on the boat.
It wasn't us. I wouldn't harm a hair in anyone's head -- not even Joe Louis'.
And I have an alibi. See my laywers, O'Brien, O'Rafferty,
O'Reilly, and O'Cohen.
Good-bye! Goodbye!
And you will never see me again. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Forever!
Rest here. This is a good place.
There's a spider's web.
With a white moth in it.
Poor thing! -as badly tangled up in that web as we are in
these woods! Do set it free.
There it goes, flying for dear life.
I wish we could, for I can't walk!
Then we'll rest a while.
I'm too frightened.
Frightened! Ha, ha! What's that?
I don't know.
Nothing at all. Don't worry I'm here to protect you! Come, let's go over here and take a little nap.
Yes, I'm so, so tired!
Yes, yes, we'll take a little sleep.
Sleep, sleep...a little peaceful sleep.
Goodnight!
Goodnight!
Mary's in Toyland, I'm sure of that, and we'll not go home again till we find her.
A fine dance she has lead us for three weeks!
A love-chase for me.
Never mind, we'll make her Mrs. Barnaby yet.
With the aid of Isnpector Marmaduke!
Who's he?
The leading detective of Toyland.
You have sent for Marmaduke and he is here!
Can you find Contrary Mary?
You have sent for me because you cannot find her yourself!
He's a regular mind-reader!
Do you think you can run her down?
A well-bred detective never runs a lady down.
Mary was the apple of my eye. She has lips like cherries and cheeks like peaches.
Alive for choice. She's to be my wife, you know.
Must she marry you?
She must!
She does.
We'll begin with looking in the river.
Ah, Hilda!
Tom Tom!
Where is mother? Not here in Toyland?
Here with your brothers and sisters and old Barnaby.
Don't say you've seen me.
Never fear.
I'm employed as Court Crier to the Court Royal, and Mary is a doll's dressmaker at the Master Toymaker's workshop, under the name of Mlle. Elisette.
Who's the Master Toymaker?
A great person here. He sets the fashion in dolls and toys for all the world.
Barnaby has just engaged Inspector Marmaduke to hunt for Mary.
Follow me, we'll go to her and warn her!
Strangers! Where did you come from?
We know where we come from, but we don't where we've got to. We were lost in a forest at our home, and after many adventures, reached a strange sea coast. A passing vessel brought us here, and we don't care how soon another takes us away.
This is Toyland.
Toyland? Were you made in Germany or Connecticut?
What's the difference?
Do you know Contrary Mary, I'm looking for her?
A blue and white polka-dot dress.
Ah, a clue!
You'll be sure to find her now.
Why?
A polka-dot dress is always spotted.
Bah!
If I could only find Tom Tom, I wouldn't care.
Do you know Tom Tom?
Is it anything like Contract?
No, he's a young man - very very handsome...and he has the grandest eyes and teeth and the most sensitive ears --
I'm not in the least interested.
Of course everybody doesn't call him Tom Tom.
No, especially those who don't know him.
His family name was Piper, so to strangers he is Mr. Piper, but he is very very handsome, and he has the grandest eyes and teeth, and the most sensitive ears.
But I haven't sensitive ears.
Wait, I want to tell you more about Tom Tom.
My dear, what fine looking things the parade has brought to town!
What perfect frights, they must have fallen out of the moon.
Tell us where you came from?
First, I want to find out something about the place I am
in! Pardon me while I go sight seeing!
And who are you?
I'm nothing yet, but when I grow up, I want to be a radio star.
What could you do on the radio?
I could be Uncle Don Crosby. That's something new, isn't it? Giving advice to the children in song form.
You mean a sort of lullaby?
Yes, just what!
There! There! You have me quite out of breath, my dears. I must rest a moment.
When we find Mother, she'll pay you for these lovely play- things.
There's nothing to pay. I am the world's master toymaker and I want to give these toys to you. Just a little rememberance in the heart of a child is more to me than anything else in the world.
Haven't you any little boys and girls of your own?
No. That's why I'm free to love all children, and to try and make them love me.
Do you make toys that talk?
Aye, talk and walk and do everything but think. I can give
them everything but a soul, and some day I may give them
even that.
But I must go. I have work to do.
Come to my work-shop, and see all the other toys that I have there.
Ah here are my angels!
See what the Master Toymaker has given us.
Here's Tom-Tom. Just caught him in the crowd.
Naughty boy, where's your sister?
I don't know. I don't know anything about her.
Tell the truth, you rascal! You ran away together.
No, we didn't. I don't know where Mary is at all!
Come, all of you, look for her. Scatter and be quick about
it! Tom tom, you go with us.
Hurry up! Find your sister! Be off with you!
Find her for you? Not much.
Jill, why don't you do as you're told?
I could faint with joy at the prospect!
Badness, where do you expect to go when you die?
If it's any place where you ain't, I'll be happy.
It's hopeless! I can never be yours!
Bless you! You have saved my child!
You'll hear from me later.
My name is Jill. What's yours?
Grumio. I'm the Master Toymaker's apprentice. What do you do?
Oh, I live a life of leisure, but I'm going to leave society and go to work. Perhaps I'll even be on relief.
I had trouble at home too. Mother kept a butler, who objected to my wearing his evening clothes.
But didn't you ever have any other ambitions?
Yes, I wanted to be a politician. It's the only business where you can sit down and run at the same time!
Is there any chance of landing a job here.
Come to my master's workshop. They're shorthanded there and I can get you a place.
Can you fix my doll there?
What'll you charge?
My charge will be just one kiss.
All right, you send the bill to mother.
But after I've seen mother's face, I may not want to collect it. Give me one kiss and I'll be satisfied.
No.
You won't give me one kiss.
Yes, but you won't be satisified.
Brute!
You're too young to be kissing strangers!
I just wanted to find out what a kiss was.
A kiss is nothing divided by two.
You got that kissing idea from the movies...from now on you'll see nothing but travelogues.
Ah, then you love the children too?
Oh, I simply dote on them!
What would you like me to make for them?
A lot of dangerous toys. Toys that a child would eagerly
accept. That would destroy them, and even kill them,
in some clever way.
Why do you hate the children so bitterly?
My late sister left her two vicious bad-tempered children Alan and Jane for me to look after. What a life they've led me! Even their fortune, which will be mine in another week, could hardly repay me for the trouble they have caused me.
Are they dead?
Yes, they were lost in the forest, I've seen the last of them!
A thousand dollars, if you'll take the order. Twelve hundred! Fifteen hundred!
No, no!
Eighteen hundred!
No, no, don't tempt me. Eighteen hundred dollars for toys, that would kill and destroy!
I'll make it two thousand dollars! Just let me see you
alone in your work shop, and we'll close the bargain.
And if we're not home in a week, Uncle Barnaby gets our fortune!
Yes, that's what I heard him say!
Now I understand Uncle Barnaby now I know him. He's as easy to see thru as a cellophane wrapper.
I'm sure he had us lost in the woods.
And lost at sea the same way. Oh, he's been playing a losing game with every way.
We must get home--we haven't a penny, what's to be done?
Or, who's to be done?
First let us change these clothes. Nobody else in Toyland dresses like this, and Uncle Barnaby will surely hear about us.
That's a risk we can't afford. We must shift our wardrobe, but how?
Can it be? Alan and Jane!
Jill!
And a runaway just like you two!
I hope you've run away with a tailor!
Or a dressmaker.
Neither, but I've just been engaged to dress the dolls at the Master Toymaker's.
Do you think you could find anything there to fit us? We don't want to be captured.
Perhaps, some of the Toymaker's dolls are nearly as big as you.
Where are they?
Follow me!
I wonder what's become of MAry?
Maybe she's married a title, and has had to go to work to support him.
It's Mary!
What in the world are you doing in Toyland?
Oh, I'm making dolls for the master Toymaker! and my alias is Mam'sell Elisette.
Hold in the name of the law! Stand up where you are! Hold, I say!
I want to hear all the news from home. Are all the guinea pigs well, and how is the new donkey?
I am here!
But you're not the one I was speaking of.
Listen to me for a moment! Do any of you know a girl named Mary? Don't answer if it may incriminate you.
Who are you?
I am the world's most famous inspector!
What of boilers?
No, of the police! Describe Contrary Mary to me.
She has long bobbed hair, a lovely speaking voice, but very loud. And she cries so much her cheeks are streamlined.
Fair. Just fair, and I believe at that I'm exaggerating.
How was she dressed when you saw her last?
She was wearing a white fish net over black satin.... the satin was white at one time. The neck line was high with a Freddie Bartholomew collar...The back was low, sweet and lo, - there were little cream puff sleeves... with blue ribbon on the side...
I don't believe --
The dress was straight to the knees, where it was gored by 8 champagne inserts to give it a waltz swing...a sort of Champagne Waltz!
I don't believe I'm getting anywhere....but I am getting
anywhere--anywhere away from you!
Well, you certainly tired him out!
You don't know how glad I am to see you all, but I wish Tom Tom were here....
And what about Alan? Don't you miss him?
Of course I do. Oh, if you only knew how heavy my heart is.
The toy captain is busted, and now the parade is spoiled.
What's the matter, Grumio?
Twas I Grumio!
You?
Strike and avenge yourself! I took the clothes to help two old friends...
Ah! To help old friends you ruin me! Be gone, female, and
leave me to the sorrow you have brought upon me!
The Toymaker's apprentice, who is responsible for the toys
that you have broken.
The wooden captain?
The same. It's time for the parade, but I can't start without the wooden captain.
Well, I can't do without his clothes.
What - me?
That will get me out of the trouble that you have got me into. Do you think you could act like a toy soldier?
Of course -- just be yourself.
Jane, I'll lead the parade, and you can look for Tom Tom.
I'm sure Tom Tom isn't here.
One word more, my one cylinder brained friend! If I get you out of this trouble, will you help us to get out of the country?
Come to the work shop after the parade, and I'll arrange it!
How?
Leave that to me! Just join the wooden grenadiers, they're ready to march!
Come on, we're off!
Oh, the parade must have started.
Come with me and I'll get you a seat in the reviewing stand!
It's a cold world, Gonzorgo; unless something turns up, I shall worry myself into a stew.
Worry yourself into two stews if possible- one for me!
Is it true what the gypsy said, are you married now?
No, my wife passed away a year ago. The light of my life has
gone, but I'd like to strike another match!
And here comes a possible flame! It's the Widow Piper.
My woodland fllower!--
Why do you call her a woodland flower?
She'll grow wild, if someone doesn't cultivate her!
Have you seen anything of a young lady who answers to the name of Mary?
You--Bernice?
Infatuated girl, why have you followed me here?
Oh, Master Barnaby's friends!
Fate has mixed us up again.
Have you forgotten what Floretta, the Fawn of the Forest told me? You are married!
'Tis false, you are the only girl I ever loved. Don't seek further for a husband!
Find my daughter Mary for me and I shall consider it!
What is she like?
She's only 15, very pretty, and very brainy. Here's a
description of her written on this paper. Find her and you
may be lucky!
If you were a young girl very pretty and very brainy, what would you do?
I'd enter a beauty contest.
No, I said brainy. Brains! But if she is going to marry
old Barnaby, you could use her for a blue print to make an
idiot!
Yes, old Barnaby is 45, and she's only 15. He's three times as old.
Yes and in five years he'll be fifty and she'll be 20, then he'll only be two and a half times as old.
Yes and in 15 years he'll be sixty and she'll be thirty then he'll only be twice as old!
How long will she have to wait before they become the same age?
The paper says she left with someone else. It reads, "The missing twain". Say, what does twain mean?
Twain, it means two!
What?
Two -two! Twain!
You're too old to be talking baby talk!
My dear Watson, this is a very baffling case.
Don't you know a good solution?
Yes, boracic acid, that's a good solution. Now the girl has been stolen by some desperate criminial, now let's both concentrate. Who is the worst criminal you know?
You!!
You can't arrest us, we've just been appointed detectives. I appointed him.
And I appointed him!
I will now give you the third degree!
Oh good, we're going to join a lodge!
Have you ever committed any crimes?
No! We swear it by our right hands.
This is truth serum wine! The liquid lie detector, quaff of it and you will tell the truth.
You drink!
I'm as honest as
And you, you drink!
You doubt my honor.
Wow! I am the king of larceny and arsony. And crooked slot machines!
Two very desperate cases! What was your most serious crime?
I worked for the EUREKA GET RICH QUICK COMPANY. I sold lottery tickets!
And I sold Stock for the Wild Cat gold mine. I worked for the Eureka, Get Rich Quick company.
You are master criminals!
Thanks to that friendly vine next to my prison windows, I
am free!
You'll find him inside.
But I do not know him what does he look like?
You don't know the master toymaker? You must be a new-comer in Toyland!
I am. But my father came here when I was a lad, and many times he talked about it.
There is much to talk about here!
I remember he had many fond memories of Toyland!
Well, what can I do for you? Looking for a pretty toy?
Sir! Do I look as though I came from the nursery?
The consignment is ready, sir!
Put the goods on board at once! The captain sends word he sails immediately.
Grumio!
The secret I have sought for years still mocks me. A thousand times have I sought to find the element that makes the charm complete. Within this crystal glass, there dwells a score of demon spirits drawn by spells and incantations. There, there, is the charm that will give me dominion over the souls of evil! That I may bid them enter the toys and mannikins.
This has nothing to do with toy making I'm sure! I must
find out the secret!
Come in!
Here's a cask of wine sent you by an old gentleman named Barnaby!
I can never do anything right!
I'm not a thing, you remember me, I'm Jill!
Oh, yes, two Jills make one pint, two pints make on drunk, ...
You're intoxicated.
Don't talk like that, girls!
Girls?
My mistake, I've had a couple of drinks.
Two drinks, and I'm girls! If you had 5 drinks I'd be quintuplets!
You don't like me, do you?
In spite of your faults, I think you're the tops!
I must be the top, my head is still spinning. But come, my Princess, it is gay tonight in Vienna - there is music, wine and waltzing. Will you waltz with me?
No - but if you'll come out of Vienna - I might dance with you.
What's this? Men, clear away the ruin. The scamp has been
at the wine!
Here I am according to appointment.
For toys that will maim and injure children?
Something tells me you would put your whole heart into the work.
liberality would call for that much interest.
Your final answer?
A doll with the soul of a demon, a master thought!
Come back in the twilight, in the interval I'll experiment again.
I pray for your success.
Aha! You scoundrel, you drank my wine, didn't you?
No, sir, I was just testing it for you! The captain of the ship wants to see you on board at once!
It's something about the cargo you're sending.
Very well! And when I return call my attention to the fact
that you are to be discharged.
Yes, sir.
How about us? How are you going to get us out of the country, your ship sails in an hour.
You go as freight.
You mean as dolls?
You'll be taken on board the ship, that's bound for your
country in those.
Be sure we're marked fragile, this side up!
And I hope I'm sent F.O.B. Free of bumps!
Jane, take care of yourself!
So far, so good!
Grumio, I want you to run out and match this sample.
It's Mary!
Quickly, please, four yards. Bring it back at once.
Hurry! Hurry!
In this game I am the dummy!
Poor boy, it's very like him. I could almost imagine we were
alone together. If he's meant for an officer, he needs
something to show his rank.
Shall I sew them on? No, it would be quicker and safer to nail them on his chest.
I might nail on a few yards of fresh gold braid while it's on my mind.
Your mind, oh, don't mind me!
This will do, and this-
are like Alan!
So, you're wondering too!
Will you ever come back and say "Mary I'm dreadfully sorry
I was all wrong?" And you know what I would do, I would embrace
you, Alan!
Why, what is the matter with this machine? It must be out
of order!
Mary!
It is you, Alan, after all!
And now you say something like I'll forgive you Alan.
I do, I do!
And I'll say Mary I was dreadfully sorry, I was all wrong. Because you knew all the time...
Yes, I knew all the time that you loved me.
Oh, Mary!
But Alan, you in this costume,--what does it mean?
It means that Grumio is going to ship us home as dolls on a boat that sails in an hour or two!
In that case, where is Jane?
In that case!
Yes, sir.
Something wrong with his machinery.
Sibera!
Oh, he doesn't go to Siberia, he's billed to--to--
Ah, a harem!
Pardon me, sir, but aren't you getting them mixed?
Oh no, he isn't getting them mixed.
So I am. It's the Dutch Doll that goes to the Sultan.
This one is broken.
There's time to fix him. He goes by caravan tomorrow. He's bound for Kalamazooskie, Eastern Siberia.
Kalamazooskie sounds like a long way from home.
His uniform needs something.
If I'm going to Siberia, I need an overcoat.
But he can't be fixed inside of a week, and the Dutch Doll
isn't all right, either.
What's the matter with her?
She needs a new face.
I'm glad Jane can't hear that.
You can't send those wax faces to hot countries.
They melt. She ought to have a wooden head like this.
Oh I'll take the risk of sending that doll to Beejumbo.
Put that box on the ship that sails for the far East.
And as for that doll,
Within the hour, Max shall have his works spread upon the table!
He's not going to give me the works!
Here's a dreadful fix, how is Jane going to get out of it?
What's that?
That's Jane always crashing in some place where she's not wanted.
We must help her. I'll run and see what I can do!
I'll find Grumio. Where are you Grumio, Grumio, Grumio?
Now once more to seek the missing element! It will give me
dominion over the souls of evil!
Undo your work, before it is too late!
There is gratitude, I give you human form, I take you from the gloom, and you reproach me!
Take care, these things have only murder in their hearts.
I do not fear them.
Look there!
You've lost. You gave them life to hate and slay and kill.
And you will be their first victim!
No! No! No!
Your commands are vain!
Stop, stop, I say!
Hear ye! Hear ye! If one Master Alan be among ye, he is for the last time summoned to appear before the Court Royal to say why he shall not be condemned to die!
What has Master Alan done?
He is said to have slain the Master Toymaker. After his arrest he escaped.
Was he alone guilty?
Many believe the Toymaker was killed by a band of strange beings who were seen rushing from the shop. The police can find no trace of them.
Oh, Tom Tom, how did Alan get himself in such a scrape?
I don't know. But it's very serious.
Can we do anything to help him?
Help him in his flight, if you meet him.
Tom Tom!
Jane! where in the world have you been?
All over looking for you.
And I've been doing the same! What a lucky day!
For us, but not for Alan.
Poor fellow, he is in trouble. Any news of him?
None. Contrary Mary is with him and they're trying to get out of Toyland together!
Without passports that will be hard to do.
Who accuses him of the Toymaker's death?
Only your uncle Barnaby!
The wicked old man! He's taken our money, now he wants our lives!
The Toymaker was the King's favorite subject. He has ordered the Court Royal to convict him without a hearing. But I must go. The Court is in session!
I will await you at the courthouse. You won't be long?
I'll count the minutes til I'm with you. I'm so glad I
have you again.
So far all right, nobody recognizes my disguise.
You can't blame them.
You don't look a bit like the police description.
No-one ever does.
Now for the last obstacle, the passports.
There's the office, but the passport clerk is busy. You'll have to wait a few minutes.
Remember both of you, if anybody questions you about us, you're to be dumb!
We'll just be our own natural selves.
If we get safely out of Toyland, where shall we go?
To our home first. Then we'll get married and go abroad.
Where?
To a far away country that Jane and I visited after our shipwreck.
Is the country you're talking about a nice one for -- for young married people?
When young people marry they go to a place that's usually called Maple Heights. Because it's surrounded by willow trees.
Willow trees? We could plant a bed of onions right next to them and have weeping willows.
It's called the heights because it's on a prairie.
I know the place, the renting agents says it's five minutes from the station... that is if you travel by aeroplace.
Then a kind business man builds them a semi-colonial cottage on weekly payments. And after you've been married forty years then the Bond and Mortgage company takes it over.
And I suppose they fall in love just as we do, and they exchange all sorts of beautiful vows.
Before marriage?
And after?
It's quite the same as here and everywhere else.
So you're keeping a budget? All I brought in the last year was one necktie. You have ordered 14 dresses, four pairs of shoes, one squirrel coat, without consulting ne.
Well, I have to wear them don't I?
Yes but I have to pay for them, don't I?
No, you don't. I haven't asked you for a single cent for a
whole year. I have had everything charged.
How many times have I asked you not to read the newspaper at the breakfast table!?
What else is there around here interesting?
You never dared speak to me like that before we were married.
Well, before we were married you never came down to breakfast looking the way you do!
Mother always said you were a brute. Oh, why did I ever marry you?
So you're beginning to wonder too?
So your wife is always quarrelling with you?
Yes, every time I go out, she accuses me playing cards with my friends.
It was nice of you to take your secretary out, have a few cocktails and then go dancing...but how will you explain it to your wife?
There's only one way out of it - and that is to tell her the truth! Goodnight!
And where have you been?
My dear I'm going to tell you the truth. I wanted a little relaxation, so I took my secretary out and we had some cocktails, and then we went to a night club.
Don't you try to fool me. You've been playing cards again!
So Alan objects to being tried by a court of nine judges? And he petitions to ask for an appointment of fifteen. He doesn't realize it's unconstitutional.
Oh, it's you, is it?
It's a fine morning for a wedding, Mistress Mary.
Whose wedding?
Ours. I'll be short and sweet with you, Mistress Mary!
There's a marriage bureau next to the court-room--
Or what?
I'll hand Alan over!
You wouldn't betray him?
It's my duty! He has disgraced the family. He's an assassin! But for your sweet sake I'll let him escape.
No, you won't warn him.
What you have there?
A warrant to execute Alan, your scamp of a nephew!
You shall decide. Will you take his life, or my name?
Let me see that warrant!
Is it is to save Alan, I'll agree. Take me to the marriage bureau!
Why, when did you two start out as plumbers?
We're not plumbers, we're executioners. We know nothing about the business, it was influence and this is a political appointment.
You look like you belong to the Black legion!
We're amateurs at this rope business, but we'll soon get the hang of it!
Has the court sent for you?
It has. We shall shortly fill our first order.
It will be Alan. But you will be cursed if you do anything to hurt him.
Cursed? Lady, we've been cursed by hard luck all our lives.
You don't know what hard luck is. I think one of my ancestors must have been Calamity Jane!
Oh, ever since I was a kid no matter what I said or did, You'd always find me in an awful boat,
And every photograph of me off in the background you would see Somebody always leading off my goat.
I'm great big mister easy mark, and life for me has been no lark I'm quite unhappy, sad as I can be.
Good luck for me has been real slow, and I have had my share of woe, Just like an undertaker's jubilee.
It will be Alan. Boys and girls, this coward will kill Alan.
Don't let him.
We won't. We will never let you live to do this.
Young man, don't you dare lay hands on an officer of the law!
Prepare a chair for him.
Now, Mrs. Barnaby, we'll hear your sweetheart's sentence.
I've just heard mine.
Hear ye! Hear ye! The Court Royal herewith finds the outlaw, Alan, guilty of the Master Toymaker's death and orders that he be executed in the manner prescribed by law, when found....
I'll do my duty as a good citizen and a relative as well. There is the criminal!
Who is this villain?
Your unhappy uncle! Take him, he has disgraced me enough. Now, let the sentence be carried out.
Wait!
Yes, wait!
You give me back my whiskers!
I have not finished. He shall be executed in the manner prescribed by the law when found--unless he takes advantage of the law which gives every condemned man the right to plead the benefit of widow."
The benefit of widow?
An ancient law of Toyland, meant to assist deserving class of subjects.
What is the benefit of widow?
Any widow, may claim a condemned man for her second husband, and he shall be free as long as he supports said widow and saves her from becoming a charge upon the state.
And may the victim choose the widow?
Some have preferred the gallows. Do you claim the benefit?
No, I'll die rather than marry anybody but Contrary Mary.
If you mean Mrs. Barnaby, you're a little bit late.
You? Mrs. Barnaby?
Alan, he recognized you, but he swore to let you escape if I married him at once!
I'll plead that benefit. Bring on your widows. I'll marry and live!
Let the court heralds summon the widows of our city.
Courage, somebody will surely choose you.
It's so undignified. I feel like a prize at a grab bag party.
Don't despair, old man, some widow will surely find you worth taking.
You needn't speak of him as though he were a marked down remnant.
To think that we're parted forever!
Not forever.
A joyful day indeed! I'll ride with you in the first carriage, and on the way to the cemetary I'll propose to you!
Then here's where I give up smoking and go in for physical
culture. As soon as I've engaged places on the coach, my
dear, we'll depart upon our honeymoon.
Don't worry. I'm liable to be killed in the rush!
I'll hurry them along.
All right. Tell the widows I'm the latest thing in imported husbands!
Alan, will you do me a teeny-weeny favor? As you've got to marry in order to live, I wish you'd marry to please me.
How can I marry somebody else to please you?
Don't marry anybody who'll make you forget me.
But remember, if a dashing widow should claim you, don't accept.
No.
But if one with a bad temper, and a squeaky voice should claim you, it would make me feel very restful.
How about me, I need a little rest myself.
Every time you looked at her, I know you'd think of me!
The merry widows are here, although they are not all so merry.
Are they pretty?
They're a group of dreams.
I'll leave you. Remember, nothing attractive, nothing that will
take me from your thoughts! For one second.
Here they are, my boy! Now turn on your best personality.
If they're going to propose to me, I won't know what to say, except this is all so sudden.
Don't hesitate, girls. The one who speaks first gets him.
Well, ladies, the auction bargain sale is going to begin. Here
I am, the answer to any widow's prayer. Will anyone start off
the bidding.
Do you think that all marriages are happy?
All marriages are happy, it's the living together after marriage that causes all the trouble.
Before we were married, my husband said he would die for me. And after marriage he was kind enough to do it!
Ah! Lady Dracula speaking! I hope I don't get an offer from you.
My next husband must be strong, silent, full of grit, -- able to bear the burden of the day! He will not hear a word said about me, and he will utter no unkind word.
What you want is a deaf and dumb coal heaver!
When I was married I didn't do as well as I expected. And to tell you the truth I don't think he did either. I've been married twice, but I think every widow's entitled to her third.
I think you're frank anyway, and you seem to have an even temper.
Yes, my temper's even, always the same --very nasty!
I believe you're deliberately falsifying it. How did your last husband happen to die?--
Oh, I suppose he thought it was the best way out!
I hope you don't claim me.
The first month I was married, we lived in a bungalow, called "Ye Lovey Dovey Cot"
I suppose you changed that afterward to "Ye Battling Arena".
My husband was a dentist with a sense of humor. But he pulled too many good ones.
He must have been very easily tickled.
Yes, he was so ticklish, he couldn't touch his ribs - he had to have them dry-cleaned. But he left me a large fortune.
Step into my office, I want to talk to you.
I'll take all your offers into consideration.
And you may hear from me later. -- But I doubt it.
The trouble with you merry widows is, you make love in slow waltz time. You'd better all pop up and start to swing.
Gone! Alan, the widows have gone without claiming you!
Guess I didn't appear to be as advertised.
Shall we proceed?
Wait till I return. There's one more chance!
Try him.
We're in a very embarrassing position.
And you only can save us from becoming perfectly ridiculous. When we start to execute you, everybody is liable to laugh at us.
I won't!
If they find we're not regular executioners, we'll lose the job.
How can I help you?
Since you've got to leave this cold, hard world, will you
allow us to send you our way?
I'll go your way.
Wise boy. Now what would you like in the way of a farewell luncheon. It'll be your very last. Have anything you like.
I'd like a dish of strawberries.
But strawberries won't be in season for 6 months!
That's all right, I'll wait.
No, now is your time. But I can give you a glass of strawberry wine.
With a dash of this in it.
Why, it's poison!
Four drops of that in your wine...
Just before you start for the scafford...
And you'll go into a dreadless sleep.
Go ahead! I haven't anything to lose. Except my life.
Alan, are you living yet?
Yes, but in a few minutes, I will be not yet.
Stop! Here's another widow! Mother, make Alan our step-father and save his life!
Go ahead ma!
I can't. It's too late. I'm married.
Married? You said you'd never marry anybody but a hare!
And here he is!
And what made him a hare?
He dined at a night club, and he dared to go
without tipping the waiter.
Now, Mary my dear--what's this?
The end of your nephew.
Too bad, too bad. I'm very sorry.
What's the matter?
He has drunk the wine that was intended for me.
Mrs. Barnaby you're a widow!
A widow?
Excessive grief has taken Uncle Barnaby from us.
Then Alan is saved! I am a widow, and under your laws I claim him as my husband!
Mary!